Intimacy: Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my...

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By e_edge - 05/06/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 841

You deserved it 8 847

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Needasafe1234 - 25/09/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 036

You deserved it 46 814

By wasntme - 30/03/2009 10:14 - Netherlands

Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 583

You deserved it 7 452

Take the L

By Chrissy - 20/12/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 72

Misguided

By baller - 08/06/2009 10:39 - Australia

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 997

You deserved it 92 933

Keep it down!

By LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 179

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 887

You deserved it 593

Good for you

By Fergie - 08/10/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 112

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 253

TMI

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 571

You deserved it 4 475

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 809

You deserved it 71 749

marinus_fml 19

Sunday 5 June 2011 15:57

Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)

Miss_Michaela 10

Sunday 5 June 2011 15:59

Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.

Comments

sinisterdrake420 0

Monday 6 June 2011 7:52

lmfao

Magedofe 0

Monday 6 June 2011 8:22

*mum

sdmarti 0

Monday 6 June 2011 8:23

really??? wut r u doin this weekend?

jobsman99 0

Monday 6 June 2011 12:08

sounds like it is time for a mother daughter contest in blowing up balloons. maybe the lung capacity is hereditary.

Franswah 0

Monday 6 June 2011 22:04

your mom is pretty beast(;

Loaffer 2

Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:07

Hahaha LQTM and I am gonna have to used that

katialovesfml 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 1:49

how does blowing help with bj's. are you going to blow air on his dick?

prismis 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 2:49

how ***** are formed... thanks mom!!

crzy4life 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 5:00

lol something my mom would say

Magnimus 4

Wednesday 8 June 2011 6:31

Op, your mom was just being a little funny, because believe me, although the autopilot scene from airplane might lead you to believe otherwise, that's not really how sex works at all.