Work: Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally...

By no new apartment for me - 18/07/2013 19:53 - United States - Hagerstown

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 691

You deserved it 4 214

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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By Skylalala - 14/06/2022 18:00

Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 140

OK thx goodbye

By ADD - 11/02/2009 14:59 - Bulgaria

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 757

You deserved it 4 528

By fuckmyplums - 07/02/2014 23:47 - Austria - Grossarl

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 398

You deserved it 4 642

By corey - 28/02/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 2 335

By fmyjob - 02/11/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 961

You deserved it 2 345

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:52 - United States - Westerville

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 632

You deserved it 2 858

By zheiraT - 22/05/2015 19:44 - United States - South Portland

Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 191

You deserved it 4 970

I deserve a raise and fall

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally mustered the courage to ask my boss for a raise. I confidently walked into his office, ready to present my case, only to trip over the edge of a rug and fall onto his desk, scattering papers and stuff everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 00:11 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 068

You deserved it 2 208

Mummy's boy

By anon - 16/09/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 399

NoOneLovesYou 13

Friday 19 July 2013 2:10

Welp, it sounds like your boss is an asshole.

MissWhitneyB 17

Friday 19 July 2013 2:10

She didn't have to be rude about it. A "no" would've been enough. Some bosses are assholes just because they know they can be one.

Comments

am177037 9

Friday 19 July 2013 3:41

An asshole, but she sounds like a funny asshole.

brandoneyez1 25

Friday 19 July 2013 3:47

Tell her to suck yours and move on...!

Medd_fml 13

Friday 19 July 2013 3:49

Why do people have to be like that? Manners cost nothing.

unknowndevil 6

Friday 19 July 2013 3:54

I think that would be considered cannibalism.

smarkatch 2

Friday 19 July 2013 4:18

time for a new job.

tsh0rty 6

Friday 19 July 2013 4:23

I feel you bro

illegalbeagle69 23

Friday 19 July 2013 14:44

Your boss told you to suck a dick before?

OnlyTheDarkest 17

Friday 19 July 2013 4:25

Sounds like she's comin' out of the closet!

Sir_drink_alot 20

Friday 19 July 2013 4:26

Stare back and just say "present it..." Didn't you learn anything from South Park?

Sir_drink_alot 20

Friday 19 July 2013 4:44

And when she can't 'present it' just say "well if you don't have a dick for me to eat then i will just have to take the pay rise instead"

nurchok 15

Friday 19 July 2013 4:27

OP, you should've said something in the lines of "your dick? what time should I pick you up tonight?" But since you didn't, I'd report her for sexual harassment... "Eat a dick" come on, that's too much, no matter how bad her day was...