Miscellaneous: Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper,...

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 176

You deserved it 30 567

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Same thing different taste

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 347

Sticky situation

By CodyS - 03/09/2013 05:03 - United States - Rocky River

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 218

You deserved it 11 284

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 221

By Billz - 10/04/2019 00:00

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 466

You must be ******** me

By MyLyfeSux - 25/09/2009 22:09 - United States

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait, hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was four extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 926

You deserved it 53 972

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 7 038

Panic! At the Costco

By abutorac951 - 16/03/2020 16:48

Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 192

Shit show

By Malakai - 23/10/2018 22:00

Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 3 733

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 129

You deserved it 53 798

mattman1994 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:17

whoops! time to pull em up and waddle for your life! lol

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:24

You should really buy additional toilet paper before you run out. Hopefully this taught you a lesson.

Comments

kyliebeatriz08 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:21

oh my god u right fyl!

bandgeek_bri 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:21

good job! way to be thinking!

tiffyc011 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:21

wow that bites lol

anlhawks 5

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:22

ahahahah!! eww

KaraShinee 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:23

wipe with yo hand? an don't forget to wash ur hands

Rexx 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:24

Mudbutt. It's the worst

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:24

You should really buy additional toilet paper before you run out. Hopefully this taught you a lesson.

momovanilla 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:25

oo that's sucks fyl next time don't forget about the toilet paper

Ace_of_Diamonds 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:25

I hope that you found some way to wipe cause that would be gross

monkeygirl92 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:27

Haha YDI. That's hilarious.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 3 941

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

The Top

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 565

You deserved it 2 319

Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 712

You deserved it 289

Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 233

You deserved it 2 603

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 205

You deserved it 8 741

Today, I'm single, as all the girls I’ve ever liked are either taken or hate my guts, and even if you don’t tell her, another girl would feel it, as if she’s a fifth choice at best, and might not like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 868

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 375

You deserved it 16 588

Same thing different taste

Shit for brains

Joe Bidet

Sticky situation

Use your socks

You must be ******** me

Panic! At the Costco

Shit show

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