Kids: Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart...

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 825

You deserved it 3 714

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Same thing different taste

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 3 420

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

By babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 170

You deserved it 4 751

By Gasman - 15/07/2017 15:30 - New Zealand

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 510

You deserved it 3 149

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

By UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 580

You deserved it 45 212

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 249

You deserved it 14 868

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 077

You deserved it 6 688

Mambo number 6

By n/a - 25/11/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 27 545

arano 29

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:19

**** the kids life. I can't say I wouldn't have found it hilarious though.

BalamCruz 14

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:23

Do you smell it? A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells smelly

Comments

arano 29

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:19

**** the kids life. I can't say I wouldn't have found it hilarious though.

incoherentrmblr 21

Thursday 21 January 2016 3:57

No harm, no foul to you, except what escaped your ass...

Oley 27

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:21

Well who else could she have blame ( if she didn't know it was you)? Maybe the dog that wasn't there? Ha. :)

Brandi_Faith 33

Thursday 21 January 2016 5:53

I bet she felt pretty stupid when she looked down his pants and realized he didn't do it!

BalamCruz 14

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:23

Do you smell it? A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells smelly

britbear0731 9

Thursday 21 January 2016 1:17

what is this from??

hacksaw246 24

Thursday 21 January 2016 1:30

From the greediest crab to ever walk the sea floor.

fpants2010 18

Thursday 21 January 2016 1:52

*Wide eyed* ANCHOVIES!!

Lurmin 12

Thursday 21 January 2016 19:53

Anyone have a Hydro-Dynamic spatula on them?

Technastar 25

Friday 29 January 2016 7:24

Right here! With port and starboard attachments; and let's not forget the turbo drive!

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:23

..and that's when you owned up to it, right OP?

nix1993 41

Thursday 21 January 2016 1:59

Like you would've done?

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 21 January 2016 4:23

Pissed, probably not. Insanely pissed, absolutely.

countryb_cth 38

Thursday 21 January 2016 7:33

I'm guessing OP was scared the mother would turn on him

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 24 January 2016 17:26

Better me than the kid, in my opinion. Especially for something that I know with absolute certainty isn't the kids fault. The blame game for farts is fine. Until someone starts flipping out.

jarrahj 19

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:24

That's a shitty thing to do

LilMissCanadian 22

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:35

Here we go again

R2Y2 22

Thursday 21 January 2016 6:29

I give op props, **** your pun

ragnarok1540 39

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:25

If her kid ***** his pants often enough that she would jump to that conclusion, one would think the kid would still be wearing diapers.

sillygirl247 14

Thursday 21 January 2016 1:57

Maybe they are potty training

MamaChey 24

Thursday 21 January 2016 6:17

OP forgot to say the the kid is 12...

onlychildFTW 33

Thursday 21 January 2016 10:33

Well he could have been wearing diapers under his pants. When I was younger I wore diapers but also wore pants! So if I took a dump in my diaper it was technically also in my pants.