Kids: Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my...

By DemonicDummy - 05/01/2017 05:06

Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 689

You deserved it 2 716

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Same thing different taste

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 883

You deserved it 2 608

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 332

You deserved it 56 153

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 741

You deserved it 2 420

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 628

You deserved it 73 909

By Anonymous - 23/09/2009 10:23 - Singapore

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 411

You deserved it 38 115

No fun

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 20:01

Today, I was finishing a cigarette outside of the mall when we heard someone fart. Turns out it was a little girl. They looked around, so jokingly I said, "We didn't hear anything." Her family giggled and so did we, until everyone realized the little girl was now sobbing. I'm a POS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 204

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 825

You deserved it 3 714

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 600

By Dx - 06/03/2011 07:18 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 235

You deserved it 34 895

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 138

You deserved it 32 057

Tripartita 44

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:03

Welp, you have no choice but to stage your own exorcism, writhe around on the floor, and pretend to be rid of that cursed demon.

Laphog 17

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:04

You should be glad he didn't use any of the other methods Sam and Dean have tried over the years .

Comments

ASLGabby 9

Thursday 5 January 2017 15:00

That's awesome

noreallywhat 17

Thursday 5 January 2017 13:23

That made me laugh so freaking hard

Lindsey15 2

Thursday 5 January 2017 14:20

I realize that this situation must have sucked for you, but reading this made my day- and it's only 6AM. I would just be thankful that he didn't start speaking in tongues and chanting at you. :'D Thanks for the laugh, OP.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Thursday 5 January 2017 16:54

Yes, everyone deserves to be punished for making their own decisions... Cancer isn't enough without judgement from complete strangers

AKchic 7

Thursday 5 January 2017 18:04

*laugh* If that had happened to MY kid, I'd be laughing my ass off (as much as I am just reading this). If you really want to be cool, go ahead and say you're not a demon, but a dragon (might have to go to season 7 for that episode). Or that you're a demon eater. Or, you could be boring and just explain the truth, allow yourself to be touched with salt and "holy water" and call it good. Or, let him brush up on his latin and perform an exorcism.

acmariner99 25

Thursday 5 January 2017 18:15

This post gave me cancer

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 5 January 2017 18:20

Everybody knows salt is for ghosts not demons. He would need to capture with a confinement spell first before attempting an exorcism. Duh! Sam and Dean have been teaching for years and people still get it wrong.