By adoptablepuppy - 29/01/2016 01:17 - United States - Horseheads
adoptablepuppy tells us more.
OP, here. Soooo.. I'm not a guy. And my friend is bisexual. But I thought it was great that you all thought I was a male, that and (most) of your comments actually made me feel better. For the other comments.. I know I deserved it, but it did suck, especially since I really didn't want to ask, but I thought "why not??".. Yeahhh.. I think I found out why not. ANYWAYS! For starters, we met when we were in middle school, I didn't have those kind of feelings for her back then. They've really just developed over the past few years. I haven't been in love with her for 9 years, that's just how long we've been friends. Okay, so this actually happened over a span of two days. The day I asked her out, she kind of freaked out, but she said it wasn't in a "bad" way. She mentioned that she had thought about a relationship with me in the past, and she was shocked that I was finally asking after so long, BUT that she needed time to think. I assumed that meant no, and I was assuming she would say no from the start. I asked her to just say no if she didn't want to, that I'm fine with it. She didn't answer when I said it, and she waited until the next day to answer.. with the puppy analogy. At first, she just drew "two girls = a girl with a dog" and gave me the drawing. I didn't know what that meant, so then she actually said what she meant it out loud. I was a bit annoyed that she didn't say no, she chose to choose an analogy. Honestly, a no would have been better (and less confusing.) I'm sure she didn't mean it in a bad way, she's not the greatest with words, but it hurt. I felt like it was a double smack in the face. We're still friends and I have no intentions of changing that. Anyhoo, thanks for the sweet comments. Hopefully some day I'll find "The One" and they won't think I'm a puppy. :*
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9 years is a long time, romantic spasms of interest occasionally occur in friendly relationships so I can imagine that if there was any potential there for her the opportunity was way too far past. It would probably be difficult for her to change the way she sees you after so many years of familiarity. Basically, don't see this as your last shot at love, there are plenty of women out there who you can start off with on a more romantic level and you still have a friendship that has lasted almost a decade which is not to be sniffed out.
if you feel like you're unattractive, maybe try developing parts of your personality that someone might find attractive? Not everyone can change what they look like, but we can strive to be better people and find people with common interests. Also, not everyone is only interested in physical appearance, and everyone's ideas about attractiveness is different. It's taken me a long time to convince my boyfriend that I think he's attractive.
then become a man..
If you have been her friend for the purpose of getting a chance to date her, then this is 100% your fault. Girls aren't slot machines. You don't put nice into us and get a prize of sex. And if she views you as a puppy, you need to evaluate your friendship with her. If you have been letting her walk all over you (with the hope of it becoming more.. see above.) then I can see the analogy. If you have been a normal person with her, then maybe you need a better best friend.
I had a similar experience, only that instead of mentioning a puppy, she asked: "Why are you doing this to yourself"
sounds to me like you need to man up and learn to stand on your own. when she says it'd be like looking after a puppy i would assume she thinks 'he'd be too clingy, and id always be looking after him'. sucks still but hey
There's always hope You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people, when you meet them you think, "Not bad. They're okay." And then you get to know them and... and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. — Amy Pond
At least you told her how you feel about her.
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Sounds like she's just scared of it not working out and ruining your friendship. And she might view it as her 'responsibility' for it to work and not let that happen.
Better her closest friend that lasts a lifetime than a relationship that turns sour and leaves your friendship awkward to impossible. Your lucky she's honest with you. Besides who doesn't love a puppy (so she does care), sounds like she thinks your just a little needy. Give yourself a couple more years to mature a little more and who knows...