Love: Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By nothisfault - 05/12/2008 04:40 - France

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 913

You deserved it 29 397

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By PookaKay02 - 20/09/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 039

You deserved it 8 633

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 644

You deserved it 12 268

Stinki Boi

By Mrs sensitive nose - 21/03/2022 04:00

Today, my nose finally unblocked after a week of having a cold. Now all I can smell is the disgusting stench of my husband's pits. We've argued three times already about his refusal to shower more than once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 135

Greasy

By Stank - 06/05/2018 19:00

Today, my husband is going on his fifth consecutive day without a shower. He’s been working 16-hour shifts, and though I'm empathetic to his exhaustion, his foul body odor has overtaken the bedroom, and his excretions have discolored his side of the bed. I fear the worst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 327

You deserved it 400

By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 189

By Amelia - 23/06/2019 00:16

Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 239

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 122

You deserved it 4 859

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 513

By 081013 - 02/03/2013 07:23 - United States - Columbus

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 423

You deserved it 4 506

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:44 - United States

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 402

You deserved it 8 857

Next

Top comments

angelove737 1

Wednesday 4 March 2009 18:30

You could get a tongue scarper. Halitosis often comes from a stinky tongue with icky build-up. Also, taking chopped cloves of garlic like pills can help. He'll smell like garlic for a couple days, but after that his body will become immune and stop the odor. Good luck-

kenltd 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:49

Maybe you should practice better hygiene before he goes down on you

Comments

Boowah 0

Monday 30 March 2009 6:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

eaglesrule8120 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 16:17

Wow, your life is not interesting in any way

dan81892 2

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:30

tell him to brush his teeth/use breath mints. nothing more to discuss here.

davidcassoa 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 5:23

stfu stupid. don't post here anymore please

sarah__tehe__ 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 6:21

um idiot? whyd you marry him if you couldnt stand his faults??

24788 6

Saturday 2 May 2009 11:35

Once you get married people stop trying to impress others.

t_swss14 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 21:59

smart mouth mouthwash (www.smartmouth.com) I swear this works!

Hazza_69 1

Wednesday 13 May 2009 11:46

Lol... bad luck . you choice 2 marry him ,altho this is 1 of the wierdest posts i'v seen on this site D:

prettytappr 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:05

Isn't that what toothpaste, mouthwash, gum, tictacs and mints are for? Just casually offer him one every once in awhile. And didn't you know his breath stank before the wedding?

redbluegreen 40

Wednesday 20 May 2009 11:07

Tell him its gross? You're freaking married to the man. If you can't talk to him about it, then you're not much of a wife are you? What else aren't you talking to him about? If he simply won't brush his teeth, floss, etc., try and have his dentist talk to him? Or even his doctor. He's going to want his teeth in another 20 years or so, and every time he doesn't take care of his teeth, he's becoming that much closer to losing them.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Party Scams Awkward Money Capitalism Health Relatable Periods Gross Poopoo peepee Relationship advice Love Embarrassing Keys Transportation Sports Cars Miscellaneous Alcohol Parenting Ironic Work Animals Scary Cats Cute Death Suspicious AITA Family

The Top

Today, I’m about to lose my marbles. I can’t speak up because I need to keep the peace, but if I don’t it’s gonna enrage me to the point where I explode, so I’m essentially teetering on a wall with shit on one side and fire on the other. FML. Just FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 267

Today, there was a power outage at my apartment. I ended up deciding that the power wasn't going to come on any time soon, and that I should go to a hotel for the night. Just after I unpacked at the hotel, my neighbor called to say the power had come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 511

You deserved it 44 103

The Top

Today, I realised it’s been too long since my partner and I have had sex. How do I know? This is the third night in a row he’s humped me in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 1 062

Today, my husband threw a fit because I dyed my hair bright magenta. Funny, I actually dyed it three days ago. He literally just noticed. Shows how much attention he pays me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 271

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 760

You deserved it 2 630

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 15 424

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 642

You deserved it 6 974

Today, I was screen-sharing during a virtual meeting when my cat jumped up and walked across my keyboard, and revealed my embarrassing search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 786