Health, Sleep, Relatable and Farts: Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband...

By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 187

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 349

You deserved it 2 466

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 498

Gassy

By Fartnonymous - 18/08/2015 10:59 - Qatar - Doha

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 764

You deserved it 2 671

Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 405

You deserved it 5 735

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 254

By Sleep Deprived - 25/12/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 197

You deserved it 3 808

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 818

You deserved it 3 863

By xetsa - 13/02/2010 05:23 - France

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 728

You deserved it 3 230

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 524

By nothisfault - 05/12/2008 04:40 - France

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 912

You deserved it 29 389

skippydoda 32

Saturday 18 May 2019 5:37

Sounds like sleep apnea. Go see a sleep doctor and get the sleep machine. My mom finally got one and it makes a world of difference.

TCRII 29

Saturday 18 May 2019 7:03

So. What’s the problem?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 May 2019 4:34

He wants to make sure you can hear it. Gives you a few second to spray some air freshener before the stink reaches your nose.

skippydoda 32

Saturday 18 May 2019 5:37

Sounds like sleep apnea. Go see a sleep doctor and get the sleep machine. My mom finally got one and it makes a world of difference.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 May 2019 7:41

Wouldn’t a butt plug be much cheaper?

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 18 May 2019 6:14

Are you big spoon?

TCRII 29

Saturday 18 May 2019 7:03

So. What’s the problem?

ViviMage 38

Sunday 19 May 2019 2:18

It's amazing how the two are connected like that!

AmbrosiaFan 18

Sunday 19 May 2019 13:46

Did he get tested for sleep apnea?

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The Top

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 265

You deserved it 3 729

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 387

You deserved it 14 236

The Top

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 408

You deserved it 40 801

Today, I found out some of my colleagues made a Teams group named “WHPJ” Which stands for “We Hate (My first initial) (My last initial)." They post candid photos of me that were taken without my consent, and make jokes about me. These people pretend to be nice to me at work everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 137

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 052

You deserved it 3 051

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 403

You deserved it 6 098

Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 002

You deserved it 7 828

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 558

You deserved it 38 149