Transportation: Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in...

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 3 449

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Punk'd

By lululee53 - 31/12/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 281

You deserved it 49 840

By Noname - 08/02/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 190

You deserved it 3 879

Get off my hood

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 465

You deserved it 1 271

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 13 507

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 838

You deserved it 65 448

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 304

You deserved it 3 859

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 317

By chicoallen - 31/08/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 986

You deserved it 2 221

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 378

You deserved it 3 614

misspeg 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:05

people can be so immature sometimes! FYL

zombienightmare 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

your neighbor must think your a dick

Comments

misspeg 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:05

people can be so immature sometimes! FYL

seanreddog 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 22:33

Don't get your panties in a bunch. It was funny.

Reyo 2

Monday 2 November 2009 1:51

*psst* you're supposed to continue the chain. Only when you've drawn the penis on someone else's van will the penis fairy stop her shenanigans.

Penetration 0

Monday 2 November 2009 4:10

Ask your neighbors if they like your wiener wagon.

omghehehe 0

Monday 2 November 2009 5:44

hahahhaha!! love that! OP: did u chuckle? :D ohh common, a lil bit? :D

Rayn4u_fml 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 14:24

(S)he's not immature, just committed!

alexandraa_fml 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

prettyvolatile 3

Thursday 21 June 2012 7:13

Easy for you to say, not ALL dudes want a giant penis on the side of their van.

seanreddog 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

TACO!

quarty165 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

lol, kinda sucks, but at least it's funny!

thunder352 4

Thursday 13 March 2014 5:17

That's the important part!

zombienightmare 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

your neighbor must think your a dick

zoeeeeee 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:11

I luv that red devil

citycrazed25 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:15

thats hilarious

arielhoee 9

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:26

It was me.

gpstyne 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:27

that sucks

moonsolomon 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:31

There's an epidemic of this nonsense at my school. 'Tis absurd.

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Instagram Social Media Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Dogs Friends Housework Cars Technology Porn Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 251

You deserved it 207

Today, my boyfriend was eating me out and I was so close to orgasm, but he suddenly stopped because his phone notified him of the football scores. He only stopped for a few seconds to check but the moment was ruined, and even though he got right back down there it just wasn’t happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 281

The Top

Today, my mom came in my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Out of pure instinct, from hours of doing this to my girlfriend in this exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother-son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go" before I let her leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 2 081

Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 2 663

Today, I woke up at 3:45 AM to fly to Pittsburgh to sample classes at a university there. After all that flying and sitting in traffic for 2 hours, I finally got to attend to my first class. I fell asleep during it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 499

You deserved it 5 598

Today, the girl I would have risked my life to shag in highschool got in touch and was clearly fishing for a date, but in the past ten years, she’s been in prison for arson, become 10 stone overweight, a chainsmoker with a visible moustache, and 6 kids with 4 men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 232

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 82

Today, I was called a "wimp" and a "pussy" for crying and screaming after lightly bumping my hand on a wall. It’s been five hours and it still feels as though my skin is being ripped off the bones in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 391

Same thing different taste

Punk'd

Get off my hood

Subconscious

Hey you

Top comments

Comments