Kids: Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled...

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 938

You deserved it 4 641

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 552

You deserved it 6 202

By diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 047

You deserved it 6 251

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 268

You deserved it 4 827

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 169

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 758

You deserved it 6 028

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 398

You deserved it 5 225

By windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 647

You deserved it 959

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 904

About to Popov

By badmom - 27/03/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 331

You deserved it 17 977

By herpmonster - 23/06/2012 16:59 - Italy

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 189

You deserved it 1 971

JoeRogansBEARD 15

Thursday 11 October 2012 16:00

Like a rhinestone cowboy

whatadaydanny 12

Thursday 11 October 2012 16:01

He had an awesome night.

Comments

Karma21 4

Friday 12 October 2012 0:24

Nice name

TrafalgarLaw_fml 4

Friday 12 October 2012 0:24

I just realized that was in a Nicki Minaj song

momen22 3

Friday 12 October 2012 0:43

Sounds like he had fun :)

mashimarox 12

Friday 12 October 2012 0:49

hes a bad bitch no muzzle. WHAT?

geod69 8

Friday 12 October 2012 1:04

Your life sucks but he deserved to fall in his own puke hope you let him sleep in it

demonkey_fml 4

Friday 12 October 2012 1:19

Next time take a video with your cellphone and post it privately to youtube. Then send the link out to your family members. Yes, it's white trashy, but should be a fun icebreaker at Thanksgiving.

WmZH 1

Friday 12 October 2012 1:46

He sounds like a badass haha.

inaka6k 1

Friday 12 October 2012 1:55

I came home drunk once....my father let me sleep in. When I woke up around 1pm my sister(also hungover) and I had to go clean up dog poop outta the back yard....in Arizona.....during the summer.....never did it again!