Kids: Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled...

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By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 945

You deserved it 4 643

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Same thing different taste

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 6 205

By diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 052

You deserved it 6 252

Future Darwin Award

By don'tdrinkthat - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 613

You deserved it 4 921

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 181

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 770

You deserved it 6 031

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 408

You deserved it 5 227

By windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 659

You deserved it 961

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 912

About to Popov

By badmom - 27/03/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 339

You deserved it 17 980

By herpmonster - 23/06/2012 16:59 - Italy

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 197

You deserved it 1 971

JoeRogansBEARD 15

Thursday 11 October 2012 16:00

Like a rhinestone cowboy

whatadaydanny 12

Thursday 11 October 2012 16:01

He had an awesome night.

Comments

awesomesauce924 3

Friday 12 October 2012 2:03

lol well at least he got it out of his system?xD

motoxraceman2345 1

Friday 12 October 2012 2:11

Sounds like u need to party w him. Seriously make him do lots of physical labor.

illerThanTheirs 8

Friday 12 October 2012 2:39

Haha that boy knows how to party.

Kimitte 1

Friday 12 October 2012 2:44

"Bottle sip bottle guzzle" came from the song Pound the Alarm by Nicki Minaj (:

Wii624 5

Friday 12 October 2012 3:45

Lol Nicki Minaj lyrics ftw

bbiscool2 12

Friday 12 October 2012 4:08

Broke back mountain

dixiefoxx 22

Friday 12 October 2012 4:12

I am ashamed that this guy is a year older then me, I'd never go out and drink or smoke

dkimrey9 1

Friday 12 October 2012 4:14

If he was wearing pink boots I would be concerned with more than just his partying habits.

dragynfyre 4

Friday 12 October 2012 4:25

Uhm wow. Guess who's going to feel incredibly stupid when he wakes up and sees how ridiculous he looks.

green2go 14

Friday 12 October 2012 6:23

Someone had a good night

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