Kids: Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled...

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By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 945

You deserved it 4 643

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Same thing different taste

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 6 205

By diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 052

You deserved it 6 252

Future Darwin Award

By don'tdrinkthat - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 615

You deserved it 4 921

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 181

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 770

You deserved it 6 031

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 408

You deserved it 5 227

By windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 660

You deserved it 961

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 912

About to Popov

By badmom - 27/03/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 339

You deserved it 17 980

By herpmonster - 23/06/2012 16:59 - Italy

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 197

You deserved it 1 971

JoeRogansBEARD 15

Thursday 11 October 2012 16:00

Like a rhinestone cowboy

whatadaydanny 12

Thursday 11 October 2012 16:01

He had an awesome night.

Comments

DusktheKat 12

Friday 12 July 2013 22:29

NIKKI MANAJ

Capt_Colorz 8

Tuesday 18 February 2014 4:03

sounds like a good night to me

Ki11erC 18

Friday 11 April 2014 22:24

Sounds like he had a good night.

ShutTheFuCupcake 7

Monday 13 October 2014 23:48

what a ******* legend ahaha

Elfkid21 19

Monday 24 November 2014 0:52

some kids are going to do what they want, despite how you raised them.

mikuxxhatsune 32

Thursday 13 August 2015 13:43

bottle sip, bottle guzzle, im a bad bitch no muzzle hey!

dilliedill 13

Tuesday 8 March 2016 20:29

pound the alarm!

RageWolf16 31

Wednesday 13 April 2016 20:29

Leave him there

Ciela 22

Tuesday 4 July 2017 19:01

I NEED the follow up

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I agree, your life sucks 18 392

You deserved it 40 029

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