Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried...

By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 12:00

Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 422

You deserved it 501

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Same thing different taste

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 662

You deserved it 8 343

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 263

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 970

You deserved it 12 961

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 918

You deserved it 44 881

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 06:00

Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 198

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 522

You deserved it 3 358

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 875

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 1 163

Nico Noppe 9

Thursday 25 October 2018 19:06

First rule of working with electricity: TURN IT OFF! Congratulations on being the textbook case of why this is the first rule.

Sertorius 10

Thursday 25 October 2018 12:04

Still alive though, so I'm calling that a win.

Comments

Sertorius 10

Thursday 25 October 2018 12:04

Still alive though, so I'm calling that a win.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 25 October 2018 12:51

So, did your customer sympathize with you, or are you a "pussy" who won't be hired by that specific customer again?

Nico Noppe 9

Thursday 25 October 2018 19:06

First rule of working with electricity: TURN IT OFF! Congratulations on being the textbook case of why this is the first rule.

2shack 7

Monday 12 November 2018 18:32

A red seal electrician is permitted to work on live wires. So no, not a rule.

MATTY2512 15

Tuesday 13 November 2018 1:21

Doesn’t make it wise.

tounces7 27

Tuesday 13 November 2018 2:45

They were replacing the box itself. How would they turn the power off? Shut off the whole city?

Kristoffer 35

Monday 12 November 2018 13:54

TBH you should not have been working on live wires. I know electricians do it all the time but you just proved why it's unsafe.

Listerinekiss 8

Monday 12 November 2018 14:41

That is just incredibly shocking. I'm glad you woke up though.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 12 November 2018 14:47

Ohm, my god! Watt a revolting turn of current events. Why were you so amped up to resist hiring a qualified electrician?

Cali 54

Monday 12 November 2018 20:17

While I'm loving these puns, I'm pretty sure OP was the qualified electrician :P

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 November 2018 6:55

Perhaps, but I'm guessing he's a guy who has been to a Lowe's and watched a few YouTube DIY videos.

onceuponatime456 16

Monday 12 November 2018 15:42

Why the hell was the electricity still on if you were hooking up wires?

ayenii 14

Tuesday 13 November 2018 11:57

They weren’t. OP was replacing the box, hence “fitting the box”, not working with wires, let alone live ones.

ojosRojos 28

Monday 12 November 2018 17:29

That’s actually terrifying. Glad you’re okay!

Levvy 22

Monday 12 November 2018 19:13

Well, at least you didn't get bumped into by a spider that was in all likelihood not going to bite you because spider venom is for predation, not defense, and wasting it can get them killed. So, that's a win, right?