Health: Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow...

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 973

You deserved it 2 662

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Soresack - 04/01/2010 13:34 - United States

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 3 200

New balls

By boxerswontdo - 06/03/2022 02:00

Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 428

You deserved it 51 102

By ricksterile - 29/10/2011 00:44 - United States

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 082

You deserved it 10 846

By oogabooga9 - 08/11/2017 15:00

Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 4 373

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 433

You deserved it 49 770

By anonymous - 11/10/2016 05:23 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 598

You deserved it 2 211

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 593

You deserved it 4 651

By BabeRuth - 20/09/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 037

You deserved it 47 822

Link?

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 03:00

Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 137

illabye 0

Saturday 18 August 2012 15:49

That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!

airforce987 20

Saturday 18 August 2012 15:57

Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...

Comments

pcentral 17

Sunday 19 August 2012 0:17

I can't even imagine how painful that must be!! Ouch! :(

NeonAcidKat 5

Sunday 19 August 2012 0:23

Okay... I squeezed my legs shut and held my crotch in pain when I read this... And I'm a ******* girl!...

brbpeople 4

Sunday 19 August 2012 0:41

Pain: priceless

UnholyAlpaka12 12

Sunday 19 August 2012 0:42

Ow, you've got some balls.

AlexRen 21

Sunday 19 August 2012 1:00

My balls hurt.

pattyps36 1

Sunday 19 August 2012 1:03

Lol

UltimateGIRness 16

Sunday 19 August 2012 1:11

I came to this site expecting something to laugh about,but now I am in pain just reading this and I am a girl. Sorry op I can't imagine your pain

Ibanez3x 5

Sunday 19 August 2012 1:33

wow, I was just about to go ride my bike...now I'm thinking twice about it.

MinnieMahem 0

Sunday 19 August 2012 1:53

there goes your children....

tarasdp 6

Sunday 19 August 2012 3:22

Forget child birth this is horrible! I'm a girl and story made me cringe..... I hope you feel better soon, no one deserves that!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

The Top

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 006

You deserved it 5 803

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 705

You deserved it 5 586

Today, the woman who wanted a relationship, sent me heart kisses multiple times a day every day, and claimed that everything was perfect, bailed on me after I asked her if she could fit in one more than the current four days a month we see each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 113

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 487

You deserved it 9 673

Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 597

You deserved it 5 715

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 842

You deserved it 6 540

Same thing different taste

New balls

Link?

Top comments

Comments