Health: Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow...

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 973

You deserved it 2 662

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Same thing different taste

By Soresack - 04/01/2010 13:34 - United States

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 3 200

New balls

By boxerswontdo - 06/03/2022 02:00

Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 428

You deserved it 51 102

By ricksterile - 29/10/2011 00:44 - United States

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 082

You deserved it 10 846

By oogabooga9 - 08/11/2017 15:00

Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 4 373

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 433

You deserved it 49 770

By anonymous - 11/10/2016 05:23 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 598

You deserved it 2 211

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 593

You deserved it 4 651

By BabeRuth - 20/09/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 037

You deserved it 47 822

Link?

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 03:00

Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 137

illabye 0

Saturday 18 August 2012 15:49

That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!

airforce987 20

Saturday 18 August 2012 15:57

Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...

Comments

kristina1124 3

Monday 20 August 2012 5:34

Wow that is so horrible! I bet ur nut was dangling huh :p hope it doesn't ruin the sex life lol.

NoahEibon 11

Monday 20 August 2012 6:55

How did they manage to tear open? That sound excrushiatingly painful!! (Sorry if 'excrushiatingly' is spelt wrong)

mrsmaglietta 6

Monday 20 August 2012 8:54

oh sorry

krob92 4

Monday 20 August 2012 9:42

On the bright side, you can now tell your friends how "ballsy" you are

BaconBoy75 2

Monday 20 August 2012 15:44

Every guy on FML collectively crossed their legs upon reading this.

Isa_fml 20

Monday 20 August 2012 23:42

My God, I'm a woman and I still crossed my legs, I can't even imagine what that would be like for a dude. Poor OP.

MexicanGinger 5

Monday 20 August 2012 16:08

YIKES! D;

robert76 5

Monday 20 August 2012 19:53

Every guy's worst nightmare. FYL OP, FYL.

kitsune3 20

Tuesday 21 August 2012 3:13

I'm a woman and this made me cringe. FYL, OP. Hope it gets better soon.

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 21 August 2012 23:00

This is why you wear proper shoes when using a bike. I've biked my entire life, and the ONLY time I've had my foot slip is when I was using flip flops or sandals.