By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 973
You deserved it 2 662
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Top comments

illabye 0

That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!

749 5
airforce987 20

Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...

236 23

Comments

xxDefiantxx 0

So uh was docbastard your surgeon?

45 4
Schizomaniac 24

I'm almost sure that nutsac repair doesn't require surgery.

1 46
DocBastard 38

It depends how deep the laceration is and if there were any deeper injuries (ie to the testicles, vas deferens, epididymis, etc).

61 4
Schizomaniac 24

Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about.

6 89
kman4evah 16

Not sure if 40 is stupid, butthurt, or a troll.. I'm gonna go with the first two.

49 1
Schizomaniac 24

Stupid and butthurt? No. I just watch enough medical shows to know I'm talking about, and I didn't appreciate the interjection from that other guy trying to tell me I was wrong.

3 73
Schizomaniac 24

what I'm talking about* Sorry, I'm trying to watch House as I type this.

3 47
BulldogHoops 14

51- So you get all of your knowledge from shows? Do you watch castle? If so, you should know that aliens are going to EMT New York. Also, I watch a lot of White Sox games. Pardon me, I'm going to go win the Home Run Derby.

41 2
DocBastard 38

If you watch the entire series of "House" from beginning to end, you're automatically granted a medical degree. True ******* story.

95 2
kimg0885 23

I'm ordering the box set now... med. school here I come!

34 1
HiIAmKevin 8

62- what the hell? Do they mail it to you when you're done? If so I haven't gotten mine yet :(

16 3
Dracoboxer357 35

^ Schitzo, you're still popping up after several months just to once again provoke DocBastard again? :) Last time you did, Doc blasted you back to dark ages for your ignorance. But please, go on and try again. My very visual memory would love another show. After all, one can hardly say they've lived, until they've had their ass beat by DocBastard. ;)

31 2
b3tazoid 5

51- docbastard is a trauma surgeon at 2 hospitals, so therefore has enough medical lnoedge to know that house is completely innacurate, and scrubs is just funny. You are probably a nerd sitting at a keyboard, yelling at people who think phantom menace was the best star wars movie.

20 4
Schizomaniac 24

I do love putting on a good show. ;)

4 28
DocBastard 38

Draco and b3taxoid - There are two possible reasons why Schizo would act like this: A) He's the worst troll here, or B) he and I are acquaintances outside FML. Or it could be both...

32 1
mikeymayhem_87 15

What if I watch all of the other medical shows from start to end as well, like ER or Scrubs? Do I qualify as a surgeon, dentist, AND chief of medicine?

7 0
Dracoboxer357 35

125- ......*Face palm* How obvious. Now I feel like idiot. :) Apologies all around. :)

7 1
laden_swallow09 34

Either way, Doc, PLEASE lambast him. We love when you play rough.

10 0
phatdaddy62 23

So hey Doc, does that mean if I had watched the entire series of Perry Mason or LA law I could've skipped that whole law school gig I suffered through?

4 0
b3tazoid 5

Or I could watch the while of TOWIE ad automatically be a twat? Oh wait, that happens anyway...

3 0
rattusrattus 18

Yikes, that sounds painful. On the other hand, at least you'll have an interesting scar you can show people in exchange for free alcohol.

38 1
MindFreakazoid 10

It's his bitten by a shark story! Well, violated by a shark.

19 0
Outnuendo 8

So your balls got ripped wide open today–your actual balls–and you're still able to post it on FML? Holy hell, are you on a steady diet of testosterome or something?

0 1
AznSamoan52 10

The wording of this FML made me cringe. I hope you feel better soon Op.

13 1
Feverrotes 15

I'm trying to picture the situation in my head. When the sack ripped open, did your balls come rolling out and hit the pavement? (Note: it doesn't say anything about the sack ripping open in the FML but I'm assuming it did if the balls needed countless stitches)

30 1
coried91 28

Damn, from the imagery your comment left in my head, I'm still laughing. Thank you.

16 1
yellow_jello 3

The mental image of your comment is hilarious

8 0
BradTheBrony 19

49 just said the same thing.

0 0
maemadness 2

The visuals... -eye twitch-

24 0
mintcar 9

Well, there goes your ice breaker story.

12 1
perdix 29

Yikes! Your poor girlfriend is not going to be getting any action in the near future. She's going to need to be consoled. What's her number?

50 9
xplainphrox 8

Boo!!! Rofl!!! You obviously don't "feel his pain"...! Lol

5 14
perdix 29

#60, I do, but it seems that everyone is forgetting about the other victim in this story. She's not the one who can't ride a bike, yet she is going to be deprived in the near term. I think she needs some TLC. Maybe you can get her number for me from the OP because you're a chick and he'll trust you. Thanks, babe!

24 4