Health: Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood,...

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 108

You deserved it 6 227

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By Anonymous - 21/09/2019 16:01

Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 967

You deserved it 40 499

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 987

You deserved it 4 572

By FatRunner - 05/11/2009 07:41 - New Zealand

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 954

You deserved it 5 272

By Tom - 06/06/2017 11:00 - United States - Antelope

Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 509

You deserved it 457

By Fonz - 26/01/2010 14:39 - United States

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 521

You deserved it 56 662

By Jim Smith - 21/02/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 346

You deserved it 27 716

By schmoodles - 07/05/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 805

You deserved it 70 909

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 878

You deserved it 6 559

By tabbycacti - 30/11/2015 13:06 - Australia

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 1 790

farmgirl 3

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:15

old woman are horny! (and at least you know you got a good crotch)

Higgyoo 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:15

Maybe you just thought she was. Or maybe you just got a hot date for tonight.

Comments

Demon_Squirtle 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 19:51

#40, apparently Jake does. It's not as bad as horrible grammar or horrendous spelling, in my opinion.

Meow34 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 19:58

So.. Can someone tell me how this is a FML?

theblueone4 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:01

...and here i am thinking that old people are asexual O_o

guitardedman 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:08

hahaha 41 seriously why do people on here word their stories like they are pretending to be intelligent. "she grinned back. whilst staring at my crotch" would look better as "she grinned back, staring at my crotch" if he used the word proceeded and whilst i would've had to punch him whilst he proceeded to bleed

kristina3514 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:09

My god I'm tired of the people complaining about there being "no good fml's" if u don't like it go to the next one... Or perhaps stop coming to the site.

Silvertounge 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:10

meh, i'd count that as a compliment.

i_am_tiff_21 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:16

At least you have a nice package supposedly. :-D

memyselfandi_fml 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:38

Is the OP by any chance british? because it makes more sense that the post was worded this way if the OP wasn't american.

alexthebrit 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:45

"While I was walking down the street today, a young man approached me, grinning lecherously. I checked it out before I bought the goods, and paused at his crotch because a large and strangely coloured growth caught my eye. He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I felt violated. FML."