Miscellaneous: Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach...

By GrippedMyBalls - 15/07/2009 13:21 - Korea Republic of

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 356

You deserved it 9 032

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 15:48 - India - Mumbai

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 126

You deserved it 1 834

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 20:45 - United States - Everett

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 081

You deserved it 4 553

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 378

By Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina - 01/06/2013 04:31 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 239

You deserved it 5 273

Read the room

By Anonymous - 11/10/2022 22:00

Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 1 480

By TKDConnor92 - 22/07/2011 10:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 6 733

Ouch

By xJade2012x - 24/11/2011 07:58 - United States

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 958

You deserved it 20 619

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 613

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 10:28 - United States

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 049

You deserved it 31 041

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 583

You deserved it 5 226

ztpalmer93 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 20:11

what did you do to deserve that

effthis 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 20:12

hope your kids are ok

Comments

Poky_fml 3

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:29

ok, I imagined it and I am about to throw up. geez what with guys hurting other's balls?

islaphippos 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:34

lmao, you should have said it felt good and told him to please squeeze them harder

kira1kira 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:46

sue!!!!!

lil_lucy23 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:53

you did something to deserve it

xKattAttack 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:56

I lol'd.

Kukai 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 22:01

bwahahaha that's hilarious. what did you do that you need to be taught manners for though?

plexico 3

Wednesday 15 July 2009 22:05

If you were really ready for fighting, your testicles would suck up into your body cavity giving you crotch invincibility! You're just an exerciser, not a fighter.

xxXXxriro_kxxXXx 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 22:20

ROFL!!! i was laughing my head off everytime i read this but i still feel sorry for you, that really must've hurt :S What kind of sensei is that?! I'd prefer suiciding instead of having him as a sensei or anything else.