Kids: Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it...

By whoops - 09/07/2014 05:38 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 750

You deserved it 20 161

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/10/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 332

You deserved it 53 985

Freakout

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her Snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face, then tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 894

You deserved it 7 676

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 045

You deserved it 48 736

Headshot

By PeterRabit - 25/07/2009 15:11 - Canada

Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 867

You deserved it 47 210

By Icci - 12/12/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 695

You deserved it 37 821

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 16:37 - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 819

You deserved it 5 036

Not sporty

By Hannah - 22/03/2012 17:21 - Ireland - Wexford

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 179

You deserved it 10 901

Free kick

By steph - 01/06/2009 04:50 - Canada

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 337

You deserved it 38 276

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 634

New variant incoming

By Death to all Covidiots. - 02/02/2022 16:59

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 204

relaxeazy 24

Wednesday 9 July 2014 16:18

Got to take a second look perhaps next time?

ToySoldier92 7

Wednesday 9 July 2014 16:18

YDI - I don't get why all the players feel the need to do it all the time..

Comments

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 11 July 2014 19:03

That was one magic loogey!

Taylor22294 24

Saturday 12 July 2014 4:46

He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Played football sine peewee and if you weren't a coach or player your in the stands.

ixschmidt 13

Friday 25 March 2016 3:52

Today at a football game I was walking to grab a soda when some jerk turned around and spit on me.

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The Top

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 402

You deserved it 11 952

Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning, he spent two hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after five minutes, then five minutes after that he was playing with the cat again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 432

The Top

Today, I got into an accident in my girlfriend's car. While I was in the emergency room, crying from the pain, she reassured me, "don't worry, you can pay me for the damage in several installments if you need to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 963

You deserved it 1 466

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 837

You deserved it 4 792

Today, I was supposed to bury my childhood dog at my mother's friend's place. I had to wake up at 5 a.m., spent two hours on the bus to be there in time, only for him to tell me that he'd actually buried my dog yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 78

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 548

You deserved it 6 417

Today, my boyfriend lied about crashing his car just to avoid seeing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 385

You deserved it 5 537

Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 281

You deserved it 901