Kids: Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it...

By whoops - 09/07/2014 05:38 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 750

You deserved it 20 161

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/10/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 332

You deserved it 53 985

Freakout

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her Snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face, then tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 894

You deserved it 7 676

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 045

You deserved it 48 736

Headshot

By PeterRabit - 25/07/2009 15:11 - Canada

Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 867

You deserved it 47 210

By Icci - 12/12/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 695

You deserved it 37 821

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 16:37 - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 819

You deserved it 5 036

Not sporty

By Hannah - 22/03/2012 17:21 - Ireland - Wexford

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 179

You deserved it 10 901

Free kick

By steph - 01/06/2009 04:50 - Canada

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 337

You deserved it 38 276

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 634

New variant incoming

By Death to all Covidiots. - 02/02/2022 16:59

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 204

relaxeazy 24

Wednesday 9 July 2014 16:18

Got to take a second look perhaps next time?

ToySoldier92 7

Wednesday 9 July 2014 16:18

YDI - I don't get why all the players feel the need to do it all the time..

Comments

RoaRawR 6

Thursday 10 July 2014 13:44

Did he have his mouth open? ....did he like it?

Xytheus 11

Thursday 10 July 2014 15:54

At least it wasn't your coach, trust me that's bad.

interesting33 36

Thursday 10 July 2014 16:16

they didn't do it on purpose..

midpri1213 15

Thursday 10 July 2014 20:13

I think the kid should be the one writing the FML

onesarcasticdik 8

Thursday 10 July 2014 23:58

Dirtbag move. Slap your momma for not teaching you any manners. Your lucky it wasn't my kid. I would have caught a case for that.

patrickalamo 47

Friday 11 July 2014 1:21

Charles is that you. Wow Charles Barkley playing football.

farlandlee3 3

Friday 11 July 2014 4:25

I'd like to see the kids FML, "Today, I was spit on by a random football player. FML."

loling_tiger 4

Friday 11 July 2014 5:05

Woah! I feel so sorry for the kid, YDI OP and FYL little kid.

MiissAshleyy 19

Friday 11 July 2014 10:37

that was you?!?!?! my son has been crying about that all day!!!

larajade 10

Friday 11 July 2014 12:28

Maybe don't spit at all then?

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Relatable Transportation Ironic Embarrassing Instagram Social Media Shopping Parenting AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Cars Technology Porn Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 535

You deserved it 10 056

Today, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his girl bestie for 4 years. I also found out he's been having threesomes with his male bestie. Both people have been around me and my family this entire time. We've been married for 15 years. Joke's on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 171

The Top

Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 663

You deserved it 4 039

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 909

You deserved it 3 878

Today, I was planning on going on a date with a girl I've really liked. She told me today was the only we could hang out before her trip. I got an expensive hair cut, planned on cooking her dinner, and pulled a few strings and got on the list for a big concert. Turns out she'd rather go shopping FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 4 016

Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 800

Today, and for the past two months, I've been going to the bar with my friends quite regularly because I have a massive crush on the cute bartender. Being quite shy, I asked my friend if he could be my wingman so I could finally talk to her properly. He took her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 806

You deserved it 979

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 582

You deserved it 7 282