Kids: Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it...

By whoops - 09/07/2014 05:38 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 750

You deserved it 20 161

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/10/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 332

You deserved it 53 985

Freakout

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her Snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face, then tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 894

You deserved it 7 676

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 045

You deserved it 48 736

Headshot

By PeterRabit - 25/07/2009 15:11 - Canada

Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 867

You deserved it 47 210

By Icci - 12/12/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 695

You deserved it 37 821

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 16:37 - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 819

You deserved it 5 036

Not sporty

By Hannah - 22/03/2012 17:21 - Ireland - Wexford

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 179

You deserved it 10 901

Free kick

By steph - 01/06/2009 04:50 - Canada

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 337

You deserved it 38 276

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 634

New variant incoming

By Death to all Covidiots. - 02/02/2022 16:59

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 204

relaxeazy 24

Wednesday 9 July 2014 16:18

Got to take a second look perhaps next time?

ToySoldier92 7

Wednesday 9 July 2014 16:18

YDI - I don't get why all the players feel the need to do it all the time..

Comments

feven 32

Wednesday 9 July 2014 19:53

F his life.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 9 July 2014 21:29

Turn the other direction?

aimzskee 30

Wednesday 9 July 2014 21:48

That sucks op. Perhaps don't be so quick to spit next time?

xPeytonson 7

Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:11

Must be soccer football.

QueenofWheels 13

Wednesday 9 July 2014 23:38

So gross why are you spitting where people might walk in it? Only time I spit is if I have a cold. People who spit just to spit are so gross.

martin998877 12

Thursday 10 July 2014 0:59

Don't spit you filthy pig

flowerfliff 18

Thursday 10 July 2014 1:08

That's disgusting

chuj 6

Thursday 10 July 2014 1:21

**** this kid's life honestly xD

michigan10 4

Thursday 10 July 2014 1:37

Sandusky?

Uraks 3

Thursday 10 July 2014 2:17

why do people even spit? gross

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The Top

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 76

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 032

You deserved it 4 249

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 352

You deserved it 4 122

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I agree, your life sucks 47 212

You deserved it 19 168

Today, in an effort to try and get fit, I was doing yoga on my carpet when my foot slipped. It went under my radiator, which peeled the skin off my heel like peeling a potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 393

You deserved it 1 455

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 018

You deserved it 12 039

Today, my sister got in a screaming argument with my girlfriend, who then dumped me. My whole family started celebrating. Apparently, they staged the argument to get rid of her because no one liked her, and I should be grateful they did me such a big favor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 211

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 125

You deserved it 24 538