Intimacy: Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my...

By yournick - 31/01/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 256

You deserved it 4 834

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Same thing different taste

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 2 595

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 3 798

By imustbegay - 09/05/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 361

You deserved it 10 405

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 2 485

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 330

You deserved it 4 541

By the_captain - 23/06/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 704

You deserved it 3 516

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

Misunderstood

By fuck - 18/03/2015 17:40 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 776

You deserved it 4 109

Cheeky!

By Anonymous - 03/08/2014 05:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 160

You deserved it 23 616

By Narehs - 13/01/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 252

You deserved it 2 906

boopityboppity 11

Tuesday 1 February 2011 1:36

Ah, the joys of being a cashier. Some of the people are just so strange. This one person — not entirely unlike the OP's — came through my line with one pregnancy test and a single coat hanger. I hope it was a practical joke or something, in both of our cases.

MrBoredGuy 1

Tuesday 1 February 2011 1:22

crazy old men and their sexual needs, surprised he only got one can

Comments

CaliforniaGal 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:00

That old man is gatting it in! GO OLD MANNS OF THE WORLD!

PeteyPablo12308 20

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:04

He just wanted to use the whipped cream and condoms with you! You should have helped the old guy out.

H_tothe_izzle 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:13

This old man touched my moms butt but acted like he was stretching, then walked away really slow. it was not only creepy, but hilarious at the same time.

agm2010 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 8:45

don't laugh it only encourages them!'

Sergey_Bubka 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 17:56

this kid i know got his ass slapped by an old lady

nerdsgetmehot 22

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:17

Old people have sex, too...How shocking! :P

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:20

How do you know her name is Max? Edit: this seems to be replying to two comments at once. Coooool.

Auanii 3

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:22

I like buying odd things together just to freak people out.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:23

You completely took this the wrong way OP! The whipped cream was for his hot chocolate, the condoms were actually party balloons, and his smile was just a smile. Get your head out of the gutter!

varkey 7

Tuesday 1 February 2011 4:49

PROTIP: Move this to intimacy... FYL

leprachaun405 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:34

hmmm kinky

EatnBeef 7

Tuesday 1 February 2011 5:24

well back in his day, condoms were used to cover gun barrels for protection from water. and the whipped cream is for the creampie your mother will be receiving from him later on. it all makes perfect sense if you don't think about it.