By chubbyreddevil - 31/01/2012 06:12 - United States

Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 741
You deserved it 2 394
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Top comments

fmessiah 19

Should've knocked off work, jumped into your car and followed him home. Three weeks later sneak into his house during the dark, chilly hours of the morning. Put your handkerchief (dribbled with chloroform) over his mouth and nose to ensure he doesn't wake up. Tie his arms and legs to the bed. Strip him naked. Install a mirror over the bed. Cover his body with fake blood (1 part water, 3 parts corn syrup and food dye). Now the tricky bit. Take his nob and tuck it in under his arse and tape it up tightly(he is knocked out he won't wake and make sure you hide the tape with the fake blood). Install a tiny remote sending camera that will send his awakening to your phone, make sure it is very well hidden. Now sneak out of the house. If all has gone to plan, when he wakes up his nob will have pins and needles and feel completely not normal. As he opens his eyes and groggily looks he will see himself covered in blood. With the extremely weird feeling down below his eyes will immediately search the mirror for that area and find his penis missing, the area covered in blood and his arse will hurt (the tape pulling at his arse hairs). Enjoy the horror you have created and laugh quietly to yourself as you drive away to his screams for help.

75 1
n3rdzgotskillz 29

Someone spat on my face once because the shop I work at only has shopping baskets, no carts. Maybe we should trade customers. ..Somehow. :)

55 1

Comments

edgestr 2

Some people are aggravated way to easy!

37 4
XenaWP 6

This would aggravate me too!!! What if I only have a small number of items- too many to hold, too few to justify a cart. Its discrimination I tell you!! It is your RESPONSIBILITY to provide me with a basket.

6 36
bjdavey 8

My old girlfriend threatened to do that to me after I tried to hold her hand...

8 2
mamamiaaa_fml 12

Well um isn't the customer always right? Just follow him/her/it around the store and hold their stuff.

2 28
AnonymousTroll 2

Be like skyrim: put a basket on their head!

7 21
iamabamf 17

I'm aggravated that you used the wrong form of too...

17 6
cosmosis 12

6- shut the **** up. Dont want a trolley? Dont want to carry your shopping? Stiff Shit!!!!! Make do with what they give you. Theyre not responsible to supply anything. Its there for convenience. You "agravate" me by posting shit all the time!

15 4
XenaWP 6

59- lolzzzz. I'm just pointing out that baskets have a valid place- usually when purchasing between 5-10 items (pending size, shape etc). No need to get your knickers in a knot. I personally think a shop should provide baskets for this occasion, and I'm expressing these thoughts in a comment. :) tough.

2 18
DrDilllonReese 12

68- if I have a small amount of items the cart won't reject them. It's still easier because I can push the cart rather than carry a basket. Carts>baskets and me>you. Just accept it.

9 3
Awwdatsucks 2

Reminds me of The Office when Andy punched a hole in the wall.

1 0
lebronesque73091 12

Threaten to not care.

3 0
moonmonkeyman 6

I agree with 21 customer is always right so YDI for not making basket appear out of thin air :D

1 2
imlifeless2 25

6- It's people like you who have an inflated sense of entitlement that cause problems like this. Not only should the man that threatened the OP be arrested for disturbing the peace, but he should be evicted from the store for threatening an employee! I'm ignoring the fact that if this man had an issue, he should have consulted the manager of the store, showing how little the man thought of his actions. Condolences, OP.

1 0
JenDanielle917 13

2 - the store has carts, just not baskets. Read the FML again.

26 2
THE_A_TEEN 27

I think #2 got a strong case of stupidity. We need to preform neurosurgery on it!

9 3
Furrywhiplash 14

Or we could just dispose of her, if you catch my drift . . .

9 0
Biebz4Lyf10 0

96 - well you definitely don't have a future as a comedian...

4 1
brown4lifejot 1

Or maybe 2 just misread the FML and isnt stupid.

2 0
Yodaevil 4

Or op could get a real job that doesn't have carts or baskets... Nor fast food...

0 6
a1f0sff 25

Jeez, what is the problem with these people?!

23 0
genesisCCORE 3

They are aliens.

6 1
EvilPotato 14

3 they want baskets, were you even reading the FML?

3 14
a1f0sff 25

I know they want baskets. Why they react this way is what I was referring to...

6 0
OhHushDear 11

34, they want to know the problem, did you even read the coment? ;)

10 1
CheckMyProfile 17

51- Some people have difficulty to understand things right away!

1 0
Clamcreepy 7

34 - Go take the walk of shame because you just embarrassed your self.

1 0
n3rdzgotskillz 29

Someone spat on my face once because the shop I work at only has shopping baskets, no carts. Maybe we should trade customers. ..Somehow. :)

55 1
fmessiah 19

You should've have clutched your chest and fallen to the floor convulsing, popping the blood red dye pack you hide in your cheek as you fall. When his eyes widen in shock at what he has caused, regrets his actions and his anger turns to anxiety and he leans over you to see if he can help rip his bloody nipples from his chest and watch the colour of his shirt slowly change to red.

20 3
Awsumuzzie 12

Thanks for the free movie in my head 28, that was pretty orgasmic to my imagination.

20 3
n3rdzgotskillz 29

28 - NEXT TIME, I SHALL. I'll probably get fired for abusing a customer but hey - he started it! All's fair in love and war. Or in this case, spitting and nipple pulling.

6 0
fmessiah 19

A job is easy to replace, the memory that forever after that person will forever after have no nipples is a fair exchange for a couple of job interviews.

3 0
perdix 29

Look what extreme couponing has done to society!

34 1
Wederoney 16

Yeah because it's your fault... What a fucktard.

14 4
DontForgetMe4 0

I can't stand people like that..honestly, what does she expect you to do? Fly around the world to basket and cart world to get her one? yeah, right.

11 5
upyourzlolz 11

I think if he got punched, it would be in the FML.

7 0
jonriise18 3

10 - is your picture from when u got booked into wuhu jail?

5 1
Alaric83 5

You are lucky he did not call the police. They would have dropped you in prison without even a trial. That is a major professional fault. You lack any kind of human compassion. Have you ever thought about how this poor man is going to feed his family if he can't have a shopping basket ?

34 3