By chubbyreddevil - 31/01/2012 06:12 - United States

Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 746
You deserved it 2 396
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Top comments

fmessiah 19

Should've knocked off work, jumped into your car and followed him home. Three weeks later sneak into his house during the dark, chilly hours of the morning. Put your handkerchief (dribbled with chloroform) over his mouth and nose to ensure he doesn't wake up. Tie his arms and legs to the bed. Strip him naked. Install a mirror over the bed. Cover his body with fake blood (1 part water, 3 parts corn syrup and food dye). Now the tricky bit. Take his nob and tuck it in under his arse and tape it up tightly(he is knocked out he won't wake and make sure you hide the tape with the fake blood). Install a tiny remote sending camera that will send his awakening to your phone, make sure it is very well hidden. Now sneak out of the house. If all has gone to plan, when he wakes up his nob will have pins and needles and feel completely not normal. As he opens his eyes and groggily looks he will see himself covered in blood. With the extremely weird feeling down below his eyes will immediately search the mirror for that area and find his penis missing, the area covered in blood and his arse will hurt (the tape pulling at his arse hairs). Enjoy the horror you have created and laugh quietly to yourself as you drive away to his screams for help.

75 1
n3rdzgotskillz 29

Someone spat on my face once because the shop I work at only has shopping baskets, no carts. Maybe we should trade customers. ..Somehow. :)

55 1

Comments

MustangGirl72 9

He needs some serious anger management.

5 0
fmessiah 19

Should've knocked off work, jumped into your car and followed him home. Three weeks later sneak into his house during the dark, chilly hours of the morning. Put your handkerchief (dribbled with chloroform) over his mouth and nose to ensure he doesn't wake up. Tie his arms and legs to the bed. Strip him naked. Install a mirror over the bed. Cover his body with fake blood (1 part water, 3 parts corn syrup and food dye). Now the tricky bit. Take his nob and tuck it in under his arse and tape it up tightly(he is knocked out he won't wake and make sure you hide the tape with the fake blood). Install a tiny remote sending camera that will send his awakening to your phone, make sure it is very well hidden. Now sneak out of the house. If all has gone to plan, when he wakes up his nob will have pins and needles and feel completely not normal. As he opens his eyes and groggily looks he will see himself covered in blood. With the extremely weird feeling down below his eyes will immediately search the mirror for that area and find his penis missing, the area covered in blood and his arse will hurt (the tape pulling at his arse hairs). Enjoy the horror you have created and laugh quietly to yourself as you drive away to his screams for help.

75 1
MustangGirl72 9

That is horribly disturbing yet brilliant. You, sir, need help.

33 2
shoopd 19

Goddamn. Son, you are truly ****** in the head. Have you taken your medication today?

6 9
fmessiah 19

Destroying a person inside from an illusion is much more rewarding than physically harming someone. Your body will heal or learn to adjust, your brain and soul are much slower to find peace.

14 0
fmessiah 19

I have lived in many countries but have never visited America Dalla25. I walk the same dusty roads that you do. South of the river in the South Eastern part of the Sunshine State.

6 0
RobDawgz 7

Is it just me, god I hope not.

3 0
cc_the_beast 6

Ah, a Queenslander, should have known...

6 1
fmessiah 19

Terribly sorry, in future I will endeavour to make sure my comments are more iPhone friendly. However in the spirit of fair play I would request that sometime in the near future you equip yourself with a device more capable of displaying the content you wish to access.

11 2
Clamcreepy 7

If I didn't know any better I would think you were jigsaw(Saw series) brother little brother seesaw. this was epic! Grade A+. Lmfao

9 0
Awsumuzzie 12

I can't believe this is where I'd meet my idol! Did you have this much fun writing saw, too?!

5 0
CryMoreFMLs 14

For iphone users, just find the middle and swipe a finger across, then you can thumb him up. Enjoy :)

9 0
topie_fml 6

First off Jesus Christ this is a great read. It reminded me of Law Abiding Citizen. All and all I feel sorry for any hookers that you happen across.

1 0
duckdragon31 0

You sound like you've done this before...

4 1
saIty 17

Well that person has probably never experienced zooming across the aisles with a cart. He's probably really missing out then.

7 0
that1skaterxX 0

Sound kinda like Charlie sheen

2 2
Wangan_Warrior 9

I got fired from a my job at the supermarket for getting annoyed at idiots like this and bitching one out -_- I hate people

4 11
Melonparty 0

Someone threatened to punch one of my work colleagues if their Danish was not fresh in two days time -_-

3 0
Pelreskovich 11

Let em throw the first punch, and get em back with a strong uppercut. Bitch won't complain about there being no baskets ever again.

2 1