Intimacy: Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles....

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 607

You deserved it 17 145

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 7 394

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 595

You deserved it 1 186

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 124

You deserved it 5 537

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 23 481

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 214

You deserved it 397

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 582

You deserved it 6 211

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 839

You deserved it 18 697

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 407

You deserved it 9 206

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 104

You deserved it 22 191

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 990

You deserved it 1 766

Mr25_fml 14

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:54

come prepared

LeoF_fml 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:55

Haha, too big of a load to handle?

Comments

Cosmic_Horror 1

Tuesday 24 January 2012 11:05

That is so awesome. Stop using FML to brag about your awesome girlfriend.

KillaBuStIn 1

Wednesday 25 January 2012 8:53

Stop jizzing in her eyes and she'll thank you. In the words of Robin Williams "Aim for the **** hawkeye."

tallguy21 0

Monday 6 February 2012 6:40

That's just funny..

oakland43 6

Thursday 15 March 2012 7:49

LMFAO

pankaj_633 6

Tuesday 20 March 2012 4:23

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

im_emile 4

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:13

That's hot....or not.

JWallSWED 0

Friday 5 October 2012 2:37

Scuba diving

Lotterie 10

Saturday 16 March 2013 14:45

That must have looked funny...

Lotterie 10

Saturday 16 March 2013 14:46

That must have looked funny.. :)

viva_la_blondes 15

Thursday 10 April 2014 0:31

I totally just envisioned her doing the deed in airplane pilot goggles lol

Keywords

AITA Awkward Parents Embarrassing Dad jokes Kids Therapy Weird Jealousy Love Friends Medication Health Annoying Healthy Lifestyle Bodyshaming Miscellaneous Mental health Autism Relationship advice Social Media Cheating Instagram Work Management Sex Drunk Proposal Capitalism Pregnancy

The Top

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 5

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 163

You deserved it 95 355

The Top

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 978

You deserved it 5 292

Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 802

You deserved it 2 479

Today, it's been a week since my dad told me I’m no longer allowed to put my phone on do not disturb when I sleep, and a scam caller woke me up at 7 am. I’ve had a serious migraine ever since because waking up early triggers my migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 131

Today, I was feeling really depressed and ended up asking my mom why guys aren't interested in me. She replied with a laundry list of reasons, including, "Hair. Boobs. Face. Everything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 677

You deserved it 5 615

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 958

You deserved it 5 670

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 329

You deserved it 38 516