Intimacy: Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles....

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 17 152

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Same thing different taste

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By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 673

You deserved it 7 395

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 608

You deserved it 1 191

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 157

You deserved it 5 564

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 123

You deserved it 23 503

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 402

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 594

You deserved it 6 217

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 849

You deserved it 18 701

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 417

You deserved it 9 207

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 108

You deserved it 22 197

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 008

You deserved it 1 784

Mr25_fml 14

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:54

come prepared

LeoF_fml 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:55

Haha, too big of a load to handle?

Comments

mtcaliber 2

Monday 28 November 2011 8:41

well at least one of you is wearing protection

ZRainey54 0

Monday 28 November 2011 8:59

That is dedication! Be proud!

Evan2297 0

Monday 28 November 2011 12:49

Saftey first!!

Arch27 27

Monday 28 November 2011 15:31

There's a whole fetish site devoted to that. Maybe she's into it...

sakforduc 0

Monday 28 November 2011 18:17

Next step would be a funnel. Lol

nabs_fml 5

Tuesday 29 November 2011 2:14

Oh dear

drmountaindeww 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:20

What a turn off...

bdm7 1

Tuesday 29 November 2011 5:08

You all are ragin fags what I would have done is rip her goggles off right before I blew my load and aimed directly for her eye

scrework 6

Tuesday 29 November 2011 6:10

HAHAHAHAHAAAAwesome! She's cummin in on a wing and a prayer!

lalalindsaaay 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 8:00

Well I'm hoping she only did it to be funny but seriously have you ever had cum in your eye? That shit hurts.

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The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 399

You deserved it 10 365

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I'd bought. She looked at it and said, "This is pathetic. You shouldn't even bother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, my husband got mad at me because I asked if we could have 2 hours out of a 16-day trip to go to the beach, just us and our kids. Why is he mad at me for this? Because his mother will be upset if we go do something by ourselves without her. Her husband and the rest of her family will all be on this 16-day trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 139

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 184

You deserved it 5 549

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 143

You deserved it 3 005

Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 373

You deserved it 1 526

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 499

You deserved it 3 417

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 289

You deserved it 5 757