Love: Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 21:23 - United States - Burlington

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 465

You deserved it 6 910

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Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 920

You deserved it 4 500

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 091

You deserved it 5 958

By Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 501

You deserved it 53 175

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 174

You deserved it 7 033

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 379

You deserved it 3 950

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 903

You deserved it 5 152

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 175

You deserved it 4 400

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 8 583

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 06:00

Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 112

You deserved it 3 498

CueTheMusic 22

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:12

That's snot very good!

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:14

Sounds like a sure-Fire way to booger- I mean bugger up a good date.

Comments

herecomestheFMLs 12

Wednesday 30 January 2013 8:24

At least you can breath mucus free now.

marxistbkly 3

Wednesday 30 January 2013 8:24

With great power comes great responsibility.

KB616 11

Wednesday 30 January 2013 11:25

Well it's gotta go somewhere. Genius.

katties 27

Wednesday 30 January 2013 12:03

Ugh, no no no! Wth dude?! That's a nasty mental image!!!

BobbieH 19

Wednesday 30 January 2013 14:38

The air has to go somewhere. What did you expect to happen?

Jordanln97 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 14:59

Thanks for the mental image

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 30 January 2013 16:55

At least it didn't hit your date?

schalk 12

Wednesday 30 January 2013 18:56

snails anyone?

ummmmsoyah 5

Thursday 31 January 2013 1:03

Well I'm sure that date ended nicely;)

Geary519 20

Thursday 31 January 2013 4:09

bill please.... lol

Keywords

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