Love: Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 21:23 - United States - Burlington

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 469

You deserved it 6 912

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 5 961

By Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 563

You deserved it 53 183

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 3 951

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 906

You deserved it 5 152

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 178

You deserved it 4 403

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 435

You deserved it 8 585

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 06:00

Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 204

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 114

You deserved it 3 501

CueTheMusic 22

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:12

That's snot very good!

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:14

Sounds like a sure-Fire way to booger- I mean bugger up a good date.

Comments

olpally 32

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:19

Very funny and disgusting. Nice job, meg. Lol.

Synapsky 10

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:24

Sounds like a mind-blowing discovery

BlueFlatts 20

Wednesday 30 January 2013 7:52

And nose-blowing discovery.

cmbar831 14

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:29

I just tried that and turns out I am a snot cannon too.

MatteKudasai 17

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:30

You must have one heck of a powerful cough! I could understand that happening with a sneeze, but coughing?

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:33

With great power comes great resnotibility! So only use your newfound powers for good, Snotman!

sig4life 18

Wednesday 30 January 2013 7:59

After that comment I want to say SIDEKICK Definitely not superhero

sig4life 18

Wednesday 30 January 2013 8:00

Just wanted to say that was an awesome photo Zeb!!!!

charvisioku 22

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:36

I found the same thing out during a lecture. Luckily nobody saw.

finnrambo 13

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:03

**** your dates life to! thats disgusting even if it didn't go on her

Sandman366 6

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:04

Unless you're careful, or doing small coughs, don't have your mouth closed when you're careful. Knew that, thanks....hope your date wasn't blown away.