Miscellaneous: Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had...

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 03:58 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 122

You deserved it 36 604

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Same thing different taste

Hoarders

By juggalo2 - 19/07/2023 12:00

Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 198

By fml - 25/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 002

You deserved it 61 046

By whoops - 29/06/2014 20:37 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 337

You deserved it 60 919

It's not Mondays you hate, it's capitalism

By I’m poor too! - 13/07/2021 00:01

Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 103

Trashed

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 650

You deserved it 7 289

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 18:12 - United States - San Jacinto

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 1 928

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 20:47 - Canada

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 377

You deserved it 58 995

Anger management

By Manuel Gearbox - 12/07/2021 18:01 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I drove a different work vehicle, one with the cupholder right behind the gear lever. After multiple accidental attempts at changing gears with my Coke bottle, I threw it out the window in a temper. I then got busted for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 1 651

By Typrokka - 22/10/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 160

You deserved it 32 196

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 17:28 - United States - Sharon

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 725

You deserved it 3 728

P374RD3D 9

Thursday 13 September 2012 9:20

Watch out, we got a badass over here.

SeahorseGuy 7

Thursday 13 September 2012 9:18

I like the environment and would normally applaud what you did (I do applaud what you did, good job), but I'd never do that.

Comments

catlady24 2

Thursday 13 September 2012 22:37

Woah, we got a badass over here

daps29 11

Thursday 13 September 2012 22:46

I'm not good at being mad either and would regret throwing a bottle in a garbage can than a recycle

pipinya 8

Friday 14 September 2012 0:53

Try LOITERING! That shit is ruthless.

holierthanbloodx 5

Friday 14 September 2012 2:13

Oh no! We got a badass over here folks!

off_constantly 8

Friday 14 September 2012 2:47

I gave you a thumbs up for saying folks.

Mr_Krabs 5

Friday 14 September 2012 2:39

102- Whoa whoa whoa, lets not go too far here.

Rocky007 15

Friday 14 September 2012 2:41

Who still recycles? That's so 20th century. I quit wasting my time with that 15 years ago.

doglover100 28

Friday 14 September 2012 3:16

Throw a pillow at a lamp.

ralmilk 16

Friday 14 September 2012 3:26

Looks like we got a badass over here!

OhMinty 5

Friday 14 September 2012 3:28

Wow what a badass

DaveUncommon88 2

Friday 14 September 2012 4:21

that was so bad ass man.

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The Top

Today, my ex-wife brought the kids to me angry that she had tried to pick up some guy but the kids ruined it just by being there, so she brought them to my house because she couldn’t be bothered this week. The judge giving her primary custody is a travesty of our legal system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 75

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 1

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The Top

Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 372

You deserved it 5 717

Today, in a seminar held by my country's government and the UN, I suddenly realized how stupid the reason for my recent breakup was. So, I ran out of the hall under the stares of over a hundred people and started bawling my eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 455

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I agree, your life sucks 33 401

You deserved it 2 590

Today, after registering my cellphone as my secondary authentication device for my campus account, it died for good. Despite still being logged in, most of my college's services are now locked behind a code sent to my unresponsive phone, including the ability to register any new authentication devices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 170

Today, after having diarrhoea all week, my girlfriend dragged me to London. Expecting to not be able to find a toilet, I decided to fast for the day. We spent 3 hours wandering the food stalls of Camden market with her friends. So many free samples I had to refuse… FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 024

You deserved it 611

Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 600

You deserved it 3 813