Miscellaneous: Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake...

By partygirlxxx - 24/05/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 716

You deserved it 9 748

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Same thing different taste

By iHateWorms - 23/12/2009 03:52 - Australia

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 33 690

By Scarred4Life - 11/10/2015 03:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 642

You deserved it 5 726

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 314

You deserved it 4 517

By Anonymous - 25/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 051

You deserved it 266

By cupcake_butt - 17/10/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 120

You deserved it 4 392

By Anonymous - 11/07/2017 14:40 - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 2 654

By Anonameow - 19/07/2016 13:49

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 2 506

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 4 106

By ijustwantpizza - 07/01/2015 12:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 633

You deserved it 7 573

By birthdayboy - 19/06/2019 16:22

Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 151

JGunit 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 10:12

how do you not know its real?

ronton 4

Thursday 5 August 2010 20:16

there are no Harry potter edible cockroaches. that's chocolate frogs

Comments

fretforyerlatte 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 14:26

if that really happened, that's absolutely foul. where did he find these roaches? were they full of raid?

Pepperolls 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 14:36

http://maisonceleste.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/cockroach-clusters-2.jpg They look COMPLETELY different.

fretforyerlatte 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 14:38

thanks 36 i was wondering. wow yeah they don't look real at ALL. if this really happened Y TOTALLY DI

bridgetheartsyou 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 14:50

i want cockroach clusters! like ones that you would purchase on the hogwarts express. not ones found in the ground.

chickitychina 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:18

hahahhahh ewwww

silvermoonstar3 3

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:28

I'm pretty sure Harry Potter doesn't make fake cockroaches. They'd be MUCH more likely to make cockroach flavored jelly beans. YDI for believing the jerk who I can only assume you grew up with.

Everlasting_fml 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:33

X_x. I would cry so hard. Hahahaha. FYL. (:

theflamezbegin 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:40

If he said Harry Potter I would've eaten it! I'm that much of a geek.

misterman2 3

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:48

I'd beat the crap out of him!!

fuckzombies 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:51

Lol your brother gave you cockroaches as a present! Traaaaaaaaaaaamp

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Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 654

The Top

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 008

You deserved it 2 802

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 559

You deserved it 16 495

Today, my brother sent me over a dozen screenshots from his phone, because he couldn't work out why it wasn't capturing all the paint he'd managed to smear on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 403

You deserved it 277

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 789

You deserved it 19 875

Today, it's the fifth long-term boyfriend I’ve dumped because I want to be a mother but they didn’t want to be fathers. In fact, the last one laughed in my face and told me he’d be willing to get a cat, because cats require less effort than dogs, and don’t interrupt his PS4 time after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 499

Today, I learned that my wife had an affair with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 824

You deserved it 4 829

Same thing different taste

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