Intimacy: Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/04/2015 20:55 - Australia - Caroline Springs

Spicy

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 374

You deserved it 3 282

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 4 799

By elisabeth_pwnes - 16/03/2012 10:38 - Norway

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 290

You deserved it 3 736

By sister sister - 25/11/2013 17:38 - United States - Rhinebeck

Spicy

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 880

You deserved it 19 343

Creepypasta

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 15:48 - United States - Nashville

Spicy

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 016

You deserved it 4 721

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 26 498

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Spicy

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 542

You deserved it 24 118

Foreshadowing

By Oliver - 08/03/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I went on a second date with a girl that I like and had a really good time while with her. We got pretty drunk and then went back to mine. When things started to get sexy, I accidentally called her by her sister's name. A girl I don’t even know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 988

By gross - 11/06/2016 07:56 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 792

You deserved it 2 086

All in the family

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 04:00 - Canada - Moose Factory

Spicy

Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 181

Cheers

By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 847

You deserved it 5 541

Next

Top comments

KayDee29 31

Sunday 12 April 2015 5:32

I believe she incests on you performing unspeakable acts. I would just avoid her for a few years.

lostinareverie 21

Sunday 12 April 2015 5:33

Better a drunk text to you than some sleazy guy who would take advantage and such.

Comments

AndyPurdy 31

Sunday 12 April 2015 6:45

avoid her

stupidity99 16

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:03

Oh dear

wazzup206 7

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:05

Op run to the hills it be an awkward family reunion

chucksfriday 21

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:17

Just pretend your In game of thrones

viper8608 9

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:21

wincest

WistayShlaio 3

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:26

They say, when someone is drunk their true self comes out. Please be careful

fastnachter 15

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:30

Drunk words are sober thoughts...

Gillett 23

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:32

Look homie, next time you see her tell her that her message wouldn't download, that way it would relieve that awkward tension between you two! At least for her that is! Sorry OP.

ToxicTyrael 26

Sunday 12 April 2015 23:17

Actually the best advice yet.

FrostyNipz19 12

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:34

That's gross dude

zaffyzak 4

Sunday 12 April 2015 7:48

Ew incest

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 118

The Top

Today, despite having glowing recommendations, stellar grades, and an impressive resumé, I was rejected by all 15 colleges that I applied to. No explanation or reasons have been given, and it's too late to apply to any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 864

You deserved it 936

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some Midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 022

You deserved it 5 104

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 579

You deserved it 3 602

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 068

You deserved it 24 575

Today, I found out my ex had been writing about our relationship to Postsecret. Apparently, she'd been sorry and wanted me back if I still loved her. I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. I left after 8 months of unreturned texts, calls, emails, and meet-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 89

Today, I asked a guy to change into a gown for an X-ray exam. I asked him to leave his underwear on, everything else off. Apparently he was going commando, as he left skid marks on my table when the exam was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 090

You deserved it 168