Intimacy: Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive...

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By Anonymous - 02/02/2012 18:07 - India

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 500

You deserved it 26 056

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Same thing different taste

By not living happily ever after - 02/12/2014 17:02 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I deleted a load of junk that was messing up my mother's computer. I don't know how I'm going to tell her I accidentally wiped out all of her wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 463

You deserved it 31 482

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 2 609

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 511

You deserved it 44 128

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 241

You deserved it 96 473

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 609

Ungeeked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 04:01 - United States - Weyauwega

Today, while trying to fix a corrupted USB hard drive with my wife’s computer I accidentally wiped her laptop drive instead of clearing the external drive. I’m not allowed on her computers anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 596

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 211

You deserved it 56 670

By hb1 - 04/06/2016 18:15 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I caught my "best friend" on my laptop, copying my girlfriend's nudes onto his flash drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 733

You deserved it 3 167

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 460

You deserved it 14 440

NSFW

By Anonymous - 14/11/2013 10:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 679

You deserved it 47 686

21jason 9

Thursday 2 February 2012 22:43

I hope you had enough tissues

Jakesterk96 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 22:44

Take a moment with twix. Problem solved.

Comments

j4ym4n 2

Friday 3 February 2012 3:58

If that's the worst thing that happened all day... Then it's a good day mate

bamberbear 0

Friday 3 February 2012 4:31

That's straight hilarious.

micahsmommy 13

Friday 3 February 2012 4:59

First we learned today that we need to worry about catching viruses from computers, now we have to worry about STDs too?!

millz94 1

Friday 3 February 2012 5:55

your moms face :0

UnleashedKilla1 4

Friday 3 February 2012 6:09

You don't know how much I wish I was there.

cyK0tek 0

Friday 3 February 2012 6:16

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA! XD Get owned... Careful not to get an ETI(Electronically transmitted infection)!

AugustBurnsToast 14

Friday 3 February 2012 8:30

Immediately after he said that he quickly tried to correct himself but his mom was already like WHAAAAAT? Lol

Twisted_Sire 3

Friday 3 February 2012 8:58

Please be more careful when speaking, now imagine you had said that to a colleague or a teacher...

mama2b3 20

Friday 3 February 2012 9:14

Some of the comments on here arent even relevent.

sj100511 0

Friday 3 February 2012 9:45

Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?

j_cat187 19

Friday 3 February 2012 9:56

Yeah

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The Top

Today, I parked in my "employee of the month" parking spot by the front of the store and started my shift. About halfway through my shift, a customer backed into my vehicle, got out and checked, then drove off before I could come outside. Perks of being the best employee I can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 576

You deserved it 870

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he's a suicide risk due to his depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 534

You deserved it 3 642

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 368

Today, I was talking with my girlfriend. We both have family issues, so we'd agreed to open up to each other today. Turns out I'm dating my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 188

You deserved it 1 879

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 813

You deserved it 3 436

Today, I met in person a girl I’ve been talking to on Facebook Messenger. We went to a concert of a group we both like, then dinner, and had lots of fun. At the end of the night I realized she’s amazing as hell, and I’ve fallen in love. Our compatibility is unmatched. The problem is that I have a girlfriend of 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 459

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 550

You deserved it 6 000

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 864

You deserved it 13 059