Love: Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a...

By chieftain - 09/05/2012 19:34 - Norway - T?nsberg

Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 255

You deserved it 5 699

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fake news

By Anonymous - 18/07/2014 20:04 - Cura?ao

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 337

You deserved it 3 459

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 530

You deserved it 4 238

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 423

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 18:05 - United States - Haslet

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 925

You deserved it 2 617

By anonymous - 10/11/2016 14:29 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I was subpoenaed on behalf of my mother-in-law. My husband said if I didn't defend her and consequently lie under oath, our marriage is over. She said, "I can get rid of two problems in one day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 796

You deserved it 767

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 900

You deserved it 24 409

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 200

You deserved it 2 574

JCS Inspired

By Britters - 25/10/2022 18:00

Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 783

By Anonymous - 07/07/2009 05:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 548

You deserved it 3 318

By zl5 - 04/07/2014 23:17 - New Zealand - Masterton

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 122

You deserved it 4 843

Glitterhinoceros 14

Wednesday 9 May 2012 22:48

You're defending her, do all the talking and tape her mouth shut or something. That doesn't look suspicious at all.

asdaasdaasda 1

Wednesday 9 May 2012 22:50

Well, at least your being professional- oh no wait...

Comments

Ugi 26

Wednesday 9 May 2012 23:35

You are supposed to be a professional - so FFS act like one and provide her with a professional service! Once this is all over then you can think about what other services you would like to offer her but right now you have to do your job.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 9 May 2012 23:39

If she told you she loves you, she probably lied. Hell, she lied under oath. I would dump her as a client and let her face the music.

Inediblepeaches 15

Wednesday 9 May 2012 23:39

I have no idea what any of this means...

skokob 7

Wednesday 9 May 2012 23:50

Ever guy likes a bad girl!!!

wegetrz 14

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:17

Forget about all that conscience mumbo jumbo and let the bitch fry.

redtigerlily 5

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:19

Conflict of interest. Don't you know what your job entails?

aira_1202 0

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:30

You should stop defending her

citybone 0

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:38

Talk about conflict of interest. Tough one

berclaw 7

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:49

wow how is she not arrested and how are you not fired i mean your obviously not doing your job right so you dont get to complain

berclaw 7

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:51

why do you feel the need to complain when your the one who is supposed to defend her

THE_A_TEEN 27

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:15

Read the FML. It shows the conflict in him about his love for the client and his job. And this is fmylife.com, the place to complain. Not the place for you to spread your shit about people complaining. Lastly, it's "YOU'RE".