Kids: Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke...

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By mokki - 31/03/2015 12:56 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 3 539

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Same thing different taste

By Kathleen Michelle Cooper - 28/08/2018 20:30

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my second child. This wouldn't be so bad if my son wasn't only 10 months old and my partner, the father of my children, hadn't been secretly seeing his ex wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 268

You deserved it 653

By mamagelmane - 08/08/2014 04:27 - France - Vervezelle

Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 916

You deserved it 4 082

Not again

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 16:00

Today, I was concerned I hadn’t restarted my periods yet after the birth of our first child. Turns out it’s because I’m pregnant again already. We must have gotten pregnant off the very first egg I released after giving birth. Our first baby is only 3 months old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 725

By Annakins - 06/06/2010 18:31 - United States

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 257

You deserved it 7 092

Classic grandma

By Anonymous - 22/07/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I announced my fourth pregnancy, this time with twins. I heard my mother mutter, “Finally two kids from the same dad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 122

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 17:44 - Netherlands - Haarlem

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 045

You deserved it 5 274

The fertility dance worked

By UnexpectedMom - 31/12/2020 02:01

Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 373

By Anonymous - 22/02/2012 19:55 - Canada

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 157

You deserved it 4 539

Crackers

By crazycrochetlady - 17/12/2018 20:00

Today, I'm 7 weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up 2 hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 276

By JCC - 18/05/2011 10:57 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 477

You deserved it 13 070

ChocolateScyther 19

Wednesday 1 April 2015 0:25

that sounds like something out of a horror movie. make sure you keep knives out of your kid's reach...

Bricktothehead 21

Wednesday 1 April 2015 0:26

If she's 2 1/2 I think she can be forgiven. Although getting a suit of armor might be a serious consideration until she knows better.

Comments

AlyssaDiannaa 20

Wednesday 1 April 2015 13:22

I can understand this, it does look like a balloon

Nickt21 11

Wednesday 1 April 2015 13:26

Make sure the baby is ok

theamazingman21 8

Wednesday 1 April 2015 14:06

just make sure your child doesnt get hold of a knife or something...

mzcupcakez 20

Wednesday 1 April 2015 16:59

Oh my god

Jayy_Dash23 9

Thursday 2 April 2015 0:12

yea **** your life for having three kids Woah...

WasabiG 11

Saturday 4 April 2015 5:09

The kid is trying to save himself from middle child syndrome xD

canunotplease 1

Sunday 5 April 2015 14:31

Uhm she's a child, relax

Gemfez 15

Wednesday 6 May 2015 15:07

This sounds cute. It would be fml if the kid had a pin.

brightlink 8

Tuesday 11 April 2017 7:32

With what

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The Top

Today, I realized I’m living with a complete moron. I moved in thinking it was gonna be smooth but nope. Dude thought it was okay to put mothballs INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE to help with roaches. Who the fuck does that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 410

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 25 046

The Top

Today, I found out when meeting her that my uncle has a girlfriend who is half his age. She's worse than a toddler; she started begging and crying for chocolate in the middle of a car ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 87

Today, I broke a bolt on my minivan trying to fix the timing belt myself to save money. I spent about 300 dollars in parts. I took the van to the shop and the total to fix it is going to be 1200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 1 007

Today, I so obviously dozed off during a video call at work. Afterwards, my manager messaged me asking if I was OK. I was mortified, and now I'm "on his watch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 427

Today, a woman in an SUV rolled a stop sign and hit me, resulting in simultaneously twisting my foot in my bike and being knocked into oncoming traffic. Her excuse before I went to the ER? The sun was in her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 155

Today, I went shopping on my only day off. The only aisle open was self-checkout. I'm a cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 994

You deserved it 1 776

Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703