Kids: Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean... - FML

By kidswithnomanners - 05/09/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 322

You deserved it 10 279

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By AdoKitty - 11/06/2015 03:04 - United States - Redlands

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 2 278

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 944

You deserved it 6 295

By messyvictor - 28/01/2012 16:19 - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 405

You deserved it 3 089

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

Excuses, excuses

By jenn - 24/10/2021 17:00

Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 235

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 643

You deserved it 24 787

So unfair

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 04:47 - United States - Peoria

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 437

You deserved it 3 208

By i_am_forever - 06/01/2015 01:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 6 099

IT'S ALL TOO MUCH!

By scott - 10/06/2020 20:08

Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 19:10 - Israel

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 582

You deserved it 10 199

Next

Top comments

saIty 17

Monday 5 September 2011 22:51

Her new name is now Catherine Obvious.

Yargnit_fml 1

Monday 5 September 2011 23:57

Jade: we gotta get out of here! Tori: yeah. thank you. katharine obvious! Trina: what? Tori: i said, thank you katharine obvious! Robbie: did she say KATHARINE obvious? Andre: it’s captain obvious.. Tori: huh? Jade: the expression is thank you CAPTAIN obvious. Tori: it’s not katharine? Trina: no. Beck: who would katharine be? Tori: katharine could be a captain.

Comments

MegumiStarr 13

Monday 19 September 2011 5:49

you should've replied with "you're welcome sergeant sarcasm!" :D

talkitivgirl 1

Thursday 29 September 2011 17:32

It's "Catherine obvious"

chameleon28 16

Thursday 20 October 2011 8:23

LOL. Nice comeback

nanylove 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 2:21

Dont you teach her some respect? Mmm

hayleybailey1996 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 11:46

I think thats kinda cute :)

Smorg_z16 5

Tuesday 22 October 2013 7:58

Your daughter is AWESOME!!

SonyIsGod 13

Thursday 28 November 2013 22:30

YDI; you are the parent, there is no one else to blame. BEAT THAT ARSE!!!

chuksnwali 34

Thursday 22 May 2014 0:15

Yeah 'Major Problem'

Nat52482 25

Thursday 9 April 2015 15:46

Shoulda responded with "if it's that obvious, why haven't you done it yet?"

lux_final_spark 18

Wednesday 22 July 2015 17:57

I'd spank her for being sassy

10
11
12
13
14

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Cheating Suspicious Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 389

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 430

You deserved it 1 736

Today, I had the choice of visiting a ruined castle or having hot gay sex. I chose the castle. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 954

Today, I received my new cell phone and activated my account. As part of the package, I get to choose five numbers that I can call without using any minutes. I could still only think of three numbers I call regularly: my parent's house, my mom's cell and my ex's cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 068

You deserved it 13 506

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 2 540

Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 050

You deserved it 3 160

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 438

You deserved it 9 180