Kids: Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean... - FML

By kidswithnomanners - 05/09/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 322

You deserved it 10 279

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By AdoKitty - 11/06/2015 03:04 - United States - Redlands

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 2 278

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 944

You deserved it 6 295

By messyvictor - 28/01/2012 16:19 - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 405

You deserved it 3 089

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

Excuses, excuses

By jenn - 24/10/2021 17:00

Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 235

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 641

You deserved it 24 787

So unfair

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 04:47 - United States - Peoria

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 436

You deserved it 3 208

By i_am_forever - 06/01/2015 01:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 6 099

IT'S ALL TOO MUCH!

By scott - 10/06/2020 20:08

Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 19:10 - Israel

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 582

You deserved it 10 197

Next

Top comments

saIty 17

Monday 5 September 2011 22:51

Her new name is now Catherine Obvious.

Yargnit_fml 1

Monday 5 September 2011 23:57

Jade: we gotta get out of here! Tori: yeah. thank you. katharine obvious! Trina: what? Tori: i said, thank you katharine obvious! Robbie: did she say KATHARINE obvious? Andre: it’s captain obvious.. Tori: huh? Jade: the expression is thank you CAPTAIN obvious. Tori: it’s not katharine? Trina: no. Beck: who would katharine be? Tori: katharine could be a captain.

Comments

angel1234567 10

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:07

The same thing happens to my four year old cousin Luna. Take away all Disney and nickelodeon channels and she won't copy any of that annoying stuff

Thatonegirlpebbs 5

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:24

She needs to be taught a lesson. . .

Grayscale 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:29

I think she didn't mean to be rude or anything, she may just doesn't know what should or shouldn't be said. Just teach her, she's just 4, you still have a lot of time.

Gazarok 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:45

and this is why im intelligible enough to not have kids... i'd hit mine for saying that! (again, read the part where i said i'm not having any, due to this. gtfo with your angry comments) but really, discipline your kid better! i remember back when i was raised... now kids grow up however the hell they want. completely unmonitored and undisciplined! pathetic, really

MrJojobinks 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 9:10

She is awesome.

fritsy2004 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 9:14

THAT is hilarious. Boy are you in trouble in about 10 years...

Juggalettemom79 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 9:28

That's hilarious! That's one of the times in a parents life that you have to turn your head so you don't laugh in front of them, then explain why it's not appropriate. I'm glad you took it with humor, I know I would have!

natsirt3 4

Tuesday 6 September 2011 9:28

adorable

Lunchtime 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 10:37

I don't think it was that bad.. At least she didn't swear

iNb4 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 11:43

Your fml should be : Today, I got owned by a four year old kid. My kid. FML

GamerMaster2041 12

Tuesday 6 September 2011 16:58

Best comment :)

EnEl_Infierno 15

Tuesday 6 September 2011 19:37

Hey Captain Obvious, that is what she's saying in this fml. That her 4 yr old owned her with her smart aleck reply.

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The Top

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 71

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 30 148

The Top

Today, my dad invited me to a bar that turned out to be a brothel, because “it’s pathetic that I’m still a virgin and it’s past time I just get it over with.” I’m not a virgin, I’ve just never been with a woman because I’m gay and still haven’t told my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 187

Today, after my aunt died and left me everything, I found my heroin addict brother searching my house, demanding his share of the money. He thought I had it in cash, so I called the cops. Now our mom is mad at me because a good brother would have given him something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 100

Today, while playing ping pong, my brother got mad that he lost and threw the paddle at my head, causing me to fall backwards into the TV mounted on the wall. Now I have a concussion and have to pay to replace the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 217

Today, my mom’s boyfriend insists that I can’t break anything by hooking up my new stove wrong, so I should just try until it works. Some trial and error and one electrician’s visit later, I now have a correctly hooked up stove which is now half broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 684

Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 524

You deserved it 2 647

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 485