Farts and Miscellaneous: Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My...

By squirts - 27/11/2013 04:42

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 215

You deserved it 5 334

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 950

You deserved it 1 753

By seb21 - 09/02/2009 02:32 - United States

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 521

You deserved it 2 324

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 6 525

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 590

You deserved it 2 642

By longlostkid556 - 05/06/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 229

You deserved it 5 812

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 14:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 3 075

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 716

olpally 32

Wednesday 27 November 2013 8:35

Peter griffin doing this to Meg, anyone? Lol. What a douche thing to do.

woainishamu 21

Wednesday 27 November 2013 8:35

That's just how he shows his love warmly.

Comments

perdix 29

Wednesday 27 November 2013 13:53

And, yet, it still smelled better than dorm food.

siggy_mcsigx 22

Wednesday 27 November 2013 14:06

"Piercing" fart? Haha!

sweetdeem 4

Wednesday 27 November 2013 14:17

This sounds like something that my brother would do to my nephew. Mike, is that you?

JMichael 25

Wednesday 27 November 2013 15:06

Best way to a mans heart is to learn to love his gas. Your dad is teaching you early.

MrBoredomioo 18

Wednesday 27 November 2013 16:16

Just remember my advice: Get him back by visiting his house, taking a crap, then leaving.

mzdaisylynn 12

Wednesday 27 November 2013 16:47

Thats such a dad thing to do. Once when my dad was on the phone with my mom, he put the phone to his butt and farted. Nice, huh?

LittleMagicWolf 7

Wednesday 27 November 2013 16:59

Sounds like something my father would do :/ sorry

myeviltwin 20

Wednesday 27 November 2013 17:18

He probably didn't do it on purpose, more likely it was just a happy coincidence :)

cloudsofneon 5

Wednesday 27 November 2013 18:06

Yeah I'm sure he was holding it in just waiting for you to walk through the door. Grow up.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 27 November 2013 18:10

What a welcome...that shouldn't happen again...

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

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I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 17

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

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You deserved it 6 059

The Top

Today, my Dad came home with a $500 jacket that he'd bought himself for Christmas. I'd bought him the same one, and it's non refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 205

You deserved it 1 708

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 247

You deserved it 8 412

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it, I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 421

You deserved it 57 495

Today, a couple came into the gas station where I work to ask for directions. While I was giving the woman directions (and even writing them down to be as helpful as possible), the man stole my wallet out of my purse that was sitting on the other end of the counter behind a display. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 708

You deserved it 7 748

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 671

You deserved it 39 192

Today, after I'd got into a steady routine for months, the new manager waltzed into the store out of the blue and began changing every single rule. I had a panic attack and cried, for which she promptly fired me for “acting like a baby.” I’m autistic and I don’t do well with sudden changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 233

Same thing different taste

Pleasant

Believe her next time

Convoluted

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