Work: Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said...

By stewardess - 03/10/2014 01:55 - United States

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 037

You deserved it 12 447

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Same thing different taste

Legalize it

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 15:01 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 1 474

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 631

You deserved it 3 144

Never trust a cookie

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 14:01

Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 185

Probable cause

By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 05:00 - United States - Corinth

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 200

Shade

By notastoner - 19/06/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 625

You deserved it 5 606

Take it up with HR

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 581

By bham boy - 20/04/2011 08:10

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 376

You deserved it 33 761

Alexa, play "Tailights Fade" by Buffalo Tom

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 13:59 - United States - Fredonia

Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 190

By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 136

You deserved it 7 968

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 413

You deserved it 6 445

Georgia0p 17

Friday 3 October 2014 13:14

Who drinks marijuana..

fuckedPriceless 17

Friday 3 October 2014 13:14

Hard to understand accent, perhaps? I'm sorry OP, but at least it sounds like you passed and/or don't actually smoke.

Comments

ostfaiz 18

Saturday 4 October 2014 3:59

Op should b thankful he did'nt asked for a veg soup or something..lol

DeathBunny8 9

Saturday 4 October 2014 9:56

Liquid Marijuana is actually a pretty good mixed drink..

Vegetarian27 24

Saturday 4 October 2014 15:24

I kind I fell bad for you, but it's a definite YDI. You're at work! You don't make jokes about illegal substances at work, especially not in the transport industry!

foxy_sunshine 8

Saturday 4 October 2014 16:16

Well..... did you pass?? Don't really get how it's an FML though. They did their job

YellowKettleBell 31

Sunday 5 October 2014 4:23

will this work the other way around...'no officer, i asked the man for a mineral water, not marijuana'

kristen5286 12

Monday 6 October 2014 5:31

I hate when you can't understand them and ask them to repeat themselves and they respond even quieter. Dude! These 300s are loud as shit! Oh! Or when folks are afraid to order alcohol. They get all whispery and embarrassed. order your Jack and coke proudly.