Love: Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the...

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By Tiana - 09/01/2012 01:51 - United States

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 007

You deserved it 36 916

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 466

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 560

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 207

You deserved it 8 413

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 480

You deserved it 8 201

We still good?

By Anonymous - 11/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 113

By Hotsauce887 - 29/03/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 273

You deserved it 25 657

Incinerate

By Laurence - 07/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 419

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 488

You deserved it 9 617

By ouchieouch - 07/01/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 368

You deserved it 42 862

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 116

You deserved it 64 152

jennawill10 10

Monday 9 January 2012 8:50

Hopefully thatll be a story you can tell your kids someday ;)

sassypenguinxox 15

Monday 9 January 2012 8:51

Wow you're so smooth, you're smoking hot

Comments

jerseyboy732 16

Monday 9 January 2012 9:06

Stop, drop, and roll

kickuwithmyfist 1

Monday 9 January 2012 9:06

You should of been like "Flame on!!!" yeahh like a bad ass!

cherry26272627 6

Monday 9 January 2012 9:08

cherry26272627 6

Monday 9 January 2012 9:11

Sorry someone already put the comment I was going to write and I couldn't delete it...

Amrel 10

Monday 9 January 2012 9:13

Sorry i though were were having a punctuation war

ChaosAngel17 14

Monday 9 January 2012 9:27

Touch that hot body?

kiiouex 3

Monday 9 January 2012 9:08

Why do people try to be cool. It always ends in fire.

Amrel 10

Monday 9 January 2012 9:41

The only thing to put out the "cool" wouldve been a fire.

ninjuh_wingman 29

Monday 9 January 2012 9:08

Not sure how you did that. A stove and a table dont really look that much alike.

I_Punch_Babies 7

Monday 9 January 2012 9:09

HARA KIRI!!!

ThecomingofTan 9

Monday 9 January 2012 9:15

Stoves are the worst wing men.

AlwaysCracked 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:19

*note to self: do not light friend on fire when being his wingman*

link1042 0

Monday 9 January 2012 9:16

It would have been funnier if you stood there and tried to play it off nonchalantly ignoring the rising flames.

scarpicide 5

Monday 9 January 2012 9:25

Yeah, you have to watch out for those.

ShadowsEcho 1

Monday 9 January 2012 9:28

Ouch. Well that's hot. If it helps she probably thought it was funny. If you'd left her some way to contact you I'm sure she will. Girls love funny guys :P