Intimacy: Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips...

By myennechee - 18/03/2009 05:22 - Germany

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 210

You deserved it 91 995

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Same thing different taste

By fuckyoutoo - 24/03/2013 23:47 - Canada - Armstrong

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 319

You deserved it 9 638

By bertiebeth - 02/08/2014 05:35 - Australia - Padstow

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 773

You deserved it 4 031

Imagery

By bunnyluver4545 - 11/01/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 584

You deserved it 36 718

Rare and inventive insult

By fuck you - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 350

You deserved it 3 768

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 609

By Anonymous - 08/05/2012 11:35 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 783

You deserved it 35 147

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 5 001

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 183

You deserved it 4 856

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 20:04 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 832

You deserved it 2 434

By Lucachoo - 26/07/2015 00:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 377

You deserved it 2 649

marisaichiban 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 16:42

Must have been some good chips.

Soak 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 16:45

Eh, most guys don't wanna be bugged during eating, tv, games, or with his friends

Comments

Sagacious 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 0:21

lmao @4

MsSippi 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 0:28

If my boyfriend asked me to blow him while I was eating, I would have the same response.

xillentz 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 0:42

#4 is king.

fuck_my_knife 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 1:11

refuse to give your boyfriend oral sex the next time he asks.

Haut 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 1:11

Don't ever try to get betwen a guy and food! ;o)

mpwga 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 1:21

this isn't an FML but its definetely funny

kapay 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 1:22

Mmmmm... potato chip ******... *drool*

blahnoopoo 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 1:35

haha thats actually funny. I would have laughed.

Ahhem 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 1:38

Your boyfriend is the man.

EffYourLyf 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 2:10

Appreciate his sense of humor, kid.

Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Video games

The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 113

You deserved it 3 775

The Top

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 044

You deserved it 11 720

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 749

You deserved it 5 366

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 118

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 425

You deserved it 5 313

Today, I had my 21st birthday party. My friends told me to have the party even though it had been 5 months since my actual 21st birthday. They asked me why I didn't have one originally and I jokingly told them it was because I didn't think anyone would come. Turned out nobody came after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 393

You deserved it 3 495

Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 154

You deserved it 156