Miscellaneous: Funny to him

Funny to him

By Binkplugged - 05/07/2016 18:01

Today, I woke up to my husband chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny. He told me that during the night I attempted to shove one of the kids' pacifiers in his mouth. I don't remember this, at all. He thinks it's hysterical. I'm not sure what to think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 1 869

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
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Same thing different taste

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 293

Jerk

By Innocence - 13/02/2015 17:33 - United States - Amelia

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 126

You deserved it 3 544

By Anonymous - 02/11/2013 17:34 - United States - Rowland Heights

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 639

You deserved it 5 674

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 278

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 15:00 - United States - Russellville

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 267

By TotallyDeservedIt - 19/05/2016 17:19 - United States - Midlothian

Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 072

You deserved it 12 937

Night terrors

By Tanisha Skye Regeling - 11/06/2020 23:02

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 180

By sleepylillion - 25/04/2016 05:07 - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 236

You deserved it 1 537

Wake up call

By das_shizzle - 05/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 274

By pistonchamp159 - 28/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 716

You deserved it 9 930

ScratchCatPower 32

Sunday 21 August 2016 15:15

Pacifiers for everyone! Tonight maybe you'll unconsciously mutter "Here comes the airplane!" and try to feed your husband with an empty hand.

rorex 26

Sunday 21 August 2016 15:01

I don't get why this is an fml.

Comments

rorex 26

Sunday 21 August 2016 15:01

I don't get why this is an fml.

mezochan 29

Sunday 21 August 2016 15:02

You subconsciously think your husband is a big baby.

ericanicole1 12

Monday 22 August 2016 20:35

Probably also consciously

NYM88 26

Sunday 21 August 2016 15:11

I think she is unconsciously trying to tell you to stop crying in your sleep. There is no bogeyman under your bed. She checked twice, remember?

Chadica 17

Sunday 21 August 2016 20:28

This is the wife saying it....

NYM88 26

Monday 22 August 2016 0:24

Yes, I realize that. I was acting as if I was talking to her husband. I guess I didn't get that across very well.

fishinpink 20

Monday 22 August 2016 6:44

I got it NYM88 :-) and I thought it was great ;-)

NYM88 26

Monday 22 August 2016 15:43

Thanks! I guess I should have said it more like this: You should really tell him he needs to stop crying in his sleep and remind him you checked under the bed twice for monsters. But, hey. A little too late, I guess.

ScratchCatPower 32

Sunday 21 August 2016 15:15

Pacifiers for everyone! Tonight maybe you'll unconsciously mutter "Here comes the airplane!" and try to feed your husband with an empty hand.

extremereviews 26

Sunday 21 August 2016 16:08

If this is the biggest thing to say FML about your life is going pretty damn good

HollywoodHitter 21

Sunday 21 August 2016 17:12

Just laugh it off, you're a mother, just unconscious instinct.

SixthSinEnvy 39

Sunday 21 August 2016 17:18

I hate to be that guy but the punctuation in this FML is killing me. It seems to be the bigger issue than sleep silliness.

nix1993 41

Monday 22 August 2016 1:40

I read it like old morse code. Today I woke up to my husband chuckling STOP When I asked him what was so funny STOP

laceyleitner98 5

Monday 22 August 2016 5:43

I only found one punctuation mistake. She should have put a comma after she asked her husband what he was laughing at. Unfortunately she used a period. She probably used a comma and it autocorrected it.