Love: Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just...

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 14:54 - France

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 718

You deserved it 4 946

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Same thing different taste

Rare and inventive insult

By fuck you - 22/11/2024 18:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 244

You deserved it 3 738

Single and ready to Pringle

By Snanonymous - 04/06/2022 00:00

Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 444

Nice dude

By ThroatSlasher - 17/08/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 2 457

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:52 - United States - Westerville

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 632

You deserved it 2 858

No joke

By SilverZephyr - 16/01/2015 12:49 - United States - Marion

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 671

You deserved it 3 488

By princessrose - 16/11/2016 11:05

Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 686

You deserved it 1 227

By Random - 04/04/2017 07:00 - Canada - Langley

Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 044

You deserved it 384

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 19:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 901

You deserved it 10 904

Dadbods for ever

By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 14:30

Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 358

By Chubby - 17/11/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 216

You deserved it 5 182

DocBastard 38

Friday 9 August 2013 18:56

"As you wish." Asshole.

Fireashes250 16

Friday 9 August 2013 18:56

What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.

Comments

MartiOan 8

Monday 12 August 2013 12:40

Why is it, that the phrase "no offense" is allways acompanied by an offense?

tknds4 6

Tuesday 13 August 2013 12:37

What a dick. Why do people bother to append "no offense" to a comment that is profoundly and inexcusably offensive?

Nanotika 1

Thursday 15 August 2013 20:49

... here comes the cold water: You might have inadvertently offended him greatly in the path you took to get your crush to notice you. This could possibly be by speaking ill of his secret hobbies, work ethic or general personality all the while not realizing it. And as this dejected nature festered in his head overtime, he shielded himself from you refusing to acknowledge your extended existence beyond what your current relationship is. And by asking him for a relationship of important word here, "intimacy" it shocked him into saying and truly meaning; "I would rather smash my balls than be in a truthful relationship with you."