Love: Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for...

By sarah - 11/02/2012 06:36 - United States

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 47 340

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 23:29 - United States

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 239

You deserved it 28 473

By Kendall14159 - 17/04/2016 20:09 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 169

You deserved it 2 648

Hyper self-awareness

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 23:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was on a first date and everything was going great, until I realized I had garlic breath from the garlic bread I ate earlier. I tried covering it with a mouthful of wine, but it just made it worse. I ended up trying to avoid any closeness, and now I guess I'll just die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 474

Just in case

By thanksbaby - 01/06/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 11 579

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 4 428

Take a load off

By MustyAtticMouth - 13/01/2024 05:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 104

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 598

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:23 - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 593

You deserved it 46 288

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 619

You deserved it 30 231

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 318

DalPozzo13 10

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:03

Shit happens

bbgirlXD 6

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:10

Well next time brush your teethes , instead of just covering your bad breath .

Comments

thatsmylyfe 13

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:45

I feel like if you brushed your teeth on a regular basis you wouldn't of had to endure such a....pain in the ass. (pun intended)

twinmum_fml 6

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:34

You couldn't have just brushed your teeth? Makes more sense that eating a whole pack of mints

ambersmummy 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:47

I've done it myself. I feel ur pain x

Dhipan 1

Sunday 12 February 2012 3:52

Do the words laxative effect come to mind?

thefmlman2011 36

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:17

I know how you feel, I ate a whole pack of soft mints in one go once, bad side effects.

MrIncredibleSME 3

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:19

Nervous much?

Ginasugarx 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:31

That sucks

hateevryone 14

Sunday 12 February 2012 5:07

is it that serious? is he that hot?

Karen27 9

Sunday 12 February 2012 5:33

Sugar free mints have a laxative effect

rawrr_dom 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 6:24

Its called... gum.

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The Top

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The Top

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML

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You deserved it 974

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I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 808

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I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 3 890

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You deserved it 4 810

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I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 118

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You deserved it 3 387