Love: Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By sarah - 11/02/2012 06:36 - United States

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 232

You deserved it 47 358

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 23:29 - United States

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 242

You deserved it 28 481

By Kendall14159 - 17/04/2016 20:09 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 173

You deserved it 2 650

Hyper self-awareness

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 23:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was on a first date and everything was going great, until I realized I had garlic breath from the garlic bread I ate earlier. I tried covering it with a mouthful of wine, but it just made it worse. I ended up trying to avoid any closeness, and now I guess I'll just die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 482

Just in case

By thanksbaby - 01/06/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 011

You deserved it 11 582

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 856

You deserved it 4 433

Take a load off

By MustyAtticMouth - 13/01/2024 05:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 107

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 603

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:23 - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 595

You deserved it 46 299

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 622

You deserved it 30 238

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 320

Next

Top comments

DalPozzo13 10

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:03

Shit happens

bbgirlXD 6

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:10

Well next time brush your teethes , instead of just covering your bad breath .

Comments

JMichael 25

Saturday 11 February 2012 15:50

Well shit happens

Lowie18 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:10

Because a whole packet of breath mints is WAY stronger than just one or two **sarcasm**.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Saturday 11 February 2012 17:32

Your comment was awesome, until you added the **sarcasm** clause. If you know how to use sarcasm, you don't need to put that your comment was meant to be sarcastic.

fallinin 1

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:18

False cause

White_Knightspc 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:27

well duh! their not meant to be used in that amount. shoulda used mentos the fresh maker

Unlucky_Gun 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:52

OP, you only need 1

CharliesCool2084 8

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:55

Try chewing gum next time.

isofia85 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:57

There's a new invention called the tooth brush. You use it with toothpaste and it really works! It not only makes your breath smell fresh, it actually CLEANS your teeth. :D Oh, and for extra fresh breath, there's a NEWER invention. It's called mouth wash.

madliibz 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 17:13

an entire**

xCrazyMexican 4

Saturday 11 February 2012 17:28

Smooth -_- dumbass

ForeverAloneGal 23

Saturday 11 February 2012 17:40

Why is your breath that bad? Brush your teeth and you'll only have to use like, two mints, max.

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Relatable Work Health Sports Scary Dentist Management Kids Parents Awkward Covid Exams Cops Cheating Love Break-ups Grandparents Cute Miscellaneous Neighbours Annoying Birthday Weird Intimacy Sex Movies Injury Friends Food

The Top

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 784

You deserved it 2 410

Today, my dad is fighting for his life after a pancreatic cancer diagnosis and a life threatening surgery. I work full time and I visit him when I can, knowing we’re on borrowed time. I come home emotional exhausted and drained, only to be met with a nagging wife that says I’m not prioritizing her or the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I bought a treadmill as part of my goal to get fit for summer. It doesn't look like it's going to get much use, seeing as how I sprained my ankle trying to get it in my doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 532

You deserved it 1 507

Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 658

You deserved it 19 073

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 481

You deserved it 1 649

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 563

You deserved it 6 123

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 349

You deserved it 1 736

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 716

You deserved it 5 855