By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 13:39 - Australia

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 958
You deserved it 10 360
Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Zebidee 8

I'll post this up here, because everyone gets a chance to read it that way (and it also answers #1's question). 'Turps' is an Australian abbreviation for turpentine, either wood turpentine, or the mineral kind that is called 'white spirit' in other places. It's the stuff you use to clean paint brushes. Although it can be used as slang for alcohol, in this context, it can only mean turpentine. It's the word you'd use 99% of the time when referring to the product. There - now no-one has to ask again, and we can all get on with our lives. Oh, and OP - WTF?! How could you not smell that a mile off?

168 3
Honesty4U 0

Here in the Southern USA we just call them dish rags and countertops.

61 1

Comments

mintcar 9

Was it a honey bun? I used to love them.

1 6
carnage1106 0

WTF how did u get honey buns!?!? but yes I also do love honey buns.

2 2
flickyourbic1223 7

The OP ate "something really sticky". Honey buns are really sticky... :)

2 1
ChrisLTC 3

why was there a towel soaked with turps? Spill it when you were mixing it in your o.j.?

0 1
ulicksam 0

If a towel is out, it was probably used for something. YDI for checking it out first, idiot.

4 0
seahorses4eva 4

You saw a tea towel on the bench? Was it YOUR tea towel...or like, a bench you were familiar with? If not, that's gross and YDI.

7 0
Shawnee_dear 10

"or a bench you were familiar with" That part made me laugh so hard. (:

1 0
ambowew 7

So, after devouring your boyfriend penis you decided to move onto the turps for desert. You, my friend, like the strangest things.

2 5
AnneFTW 17

YDI for using an abbreviation which is clearly not common and causing so many arguments.

2 10
cha5e 0

Lots of slang is regional. Unfortunately many people probably don't know which of the slang terms they use are regional and which aren't. Maybe the OP isn't well-traveled, but even if she is, how often do you discuss turpentine while on vacation? For instance, I've always said "white out" rather than "liquid paper" or "correction fluid". I have no idea if they call it "white out" in other countries, or even in other regions of my own country.

5 0
fadingaway 17

We(South Africans) call correction fluid/tape Tippex, after the brand name, like Kleenex.

1 0
jess2gd4u 0

and u no26 are a small brain. maybe if u try using it you will expand ur capacity!

1 0
t765234 10

Anyone else having trouble deciphering the above comment?

3 0
dudeitsdanny 9

White out= Liquid paper in Mexico. Just so ya know. And I believe that comment is better left to Doc's Idiot-English dictionary. Something about "I keep failing 2nd grade"

0 1
Zebidee 8

The irony is that as a 17 year old Irish girl, the absolute next thing she is going to do is go and spend a year in Australia like every other Irish person that has ever lived. Good luck giving the Aussies a hard time for the way they talk when you're looking for a job over there.

1 1
deirdreMFpimp 0

your stupid for not speaking english. I think you should have wiped your face with a towel covered in shit.

0 0
JenL_fml 7

You're stupid for using "your" instead of "you're"

2 0
bear815 0

could be a spelling mistake for turd.

1 0
babez11 0

ok if u like my profile picture comment a <3 love ur sexy stripper friend

0 7
SeedlessMe 13

Wow, so fml now sells ad space to hookers? We've come a long way baby.... Ew, btw

0 0
ambowew 7

^ I know, right? Get off fml and get back on the corner where you belong.

1 0
cheergirly789 4

I bet this is like a fat, pathetic, 12 year old girl.

1 0
JrTinoco 6

haha yeah probably

0 0
YayaInLalaLand 0

Hey, at least she's not ashamed of the fact that she's a ***** lmao

1 0
JenL_fml 7

Ok, so I got two meanings for "turps". I got turpentine, and I got something about a prostate from Google. Someone also stated something about Australian alcohol. So I'm confused. Which is it? I think turpentine is the best guess.

2 0
Jay1D 0

I assume alcohol as the OP is Australian...

0 1
fadingaway 17

It's turpentine. Accidentally rubbing your face with alcohol isn't an FML, nor does it smell ''really bad.''

0 0
JenL_fml 7

Yeah, this is why I was confused, cause it seems like both would make some kind of sense. But I guess turpentine would make a greater deal of sense.

0 0
Babblez 0

Its turpentine. Nobody calls their god damn alcohol turps &gt;.&gt; Unless its **** off strong home brew vodka or something &gt;.&gt; We tend to call alcohol by its name. Alcohol. Or beverages. Or the brand name that we drink like Cruisers or Jim Beam or Jack Daniels or Bundy rum. Or the name of the spirit, Tequila, vodka, rum, whiskey. Or Wine. We call our alcohol the same damn thing as yanks or brits. Jesus christ -_-;

0 1
JenL_fml 7

Thanks for the clarification, but you seem upset. &gt;.&gt;

0 0
red1355 6

first and foremost..... LEARN HOW TO SPEAK!! Then you will type correctly!!

0 3