Animals: Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented...

By Noname - 11/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 332

You deserved it 63 450

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 514

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 7 345

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 2 667

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 16:17 - United States

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 375

You deserved it 6 358

Yummy

By EwwwwYuck - 03/08/2020 02:02

Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 360

Late reaction

By "chris_lillo" - 31/01/2020 18:00 - United States - Waco

Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 214

I just want to go to bed

By Jay Stevens - 22/02/2023 06:00

Today, it's 1 a.m. and once again a freaking bird has flew into my house from the attic. My cats are of course all crazy right now as it sits in my room, in a high corner beyond reach. My children are sleeping and I have no way to let it outside from where it is right now. Oh and it's freezing outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 123

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 3 850

Large spread

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 06:00

Today, as I went to put a portion of a rotisserie chicken in the microwave, the rest of the chicken slid off the counter. I instinctively tried to catch it with my foot, which resulted in me punting it into the kitchen ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 035

You deserved it 293

jSOPURE 3

Wednesday 11 March 2009 9:33

No freaking way... Let me guess what's for dinner. :)

KenMcGormick 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 9:53

Today, I just gotten from a pet shop to my new owner's house. They decided that I should be let flying around the house. They forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

Comments

_abcdeF 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:34

that parakeet's life is ****** up all right..

sh_tf_ck 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:44

Hmmm. You post a lot of FMLs. I think they're all fake. But they're still entertaining.

Lifey66 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:48

this is why i get my birds' wings clipped. it doesn't hurt them and it keeps them safe and in the house!

TomLanders 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 5:22

This one is fake, no parakeet is dumb to fly near something shooting wind at them.

TheSacredRatty 18

Monday 5 November 2018 15:28

You know there is something called wind in the wild right? The bird was obviously scared and tried to fly upwind to run away

meow_meow_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 11:52

maybe a hamster?

loli_girl 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 15:01

don't ever forget to put the toilet seat down either cus they can drown themselves...

Cablephish 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 21:41

Imagine what the bird was thinking. "Today, I got a new owner to take me home. He got home and wanted to let me fly around the house. They went around making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately they forgot to turn off the ceiling fan." Poor bird. My father accidentally let mine out the door, at least it lived longer maybe...

Lifey66 0

Friday 13 March 2009 1:40

Don't forget to turn off all stovetops/open flames and close all oven doors too.

pinkfrenchrose 5

Friday 13 March 2009 7:23

Today, some random person put me in a cage and took me to a strange new building. When I was released, I was so happy to be free I didn't notice the spinning blades on the ceiling. FML

Amkii 0

Friday 13 March 2009 18:55

#20 - Because it's a living creature with nerves, a brain, and personality. Do you say that at funerals, too? "Why would anyone mourn a human?" It's the same reason with a parakeet.