Animals: Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented...

By Noname - 11/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 332

You deserved it 63 450

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Same thing different taste

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 514

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 7 345

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 2 667

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 16:17 - United States

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 375

You deserved it 6 358

Yummy

By EwwwwYuck - 03/08/2020 02:02

Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 360

Late reaction

By "chris_lillo" - 31/01/2020 18:00 - United States - Waco

Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 214

I just want to go to bed

By Jay Stevens - 22/02/2023 06:00

Today, it's 1 a.m. and once again a freaking bird has flew into my house from the attic. My cats are of course all crazy right now as it sits in my room, in a high corner beyond reach. My children are sleeping and I have no way to let it outside from where it is right now. Oh and it's freezing outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 123

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 3 850

Large spread

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 06:00

Today, as I went to put a portion of a rotisserie chicken in the microwave, the rest of the chicken slid off the counter. I instinctively tried to catch it with my foot, which resulted in me punting it into the kitchen ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 035

You deserved it 293

jSOPURE 3

Wednesday 11 March 2009 9:33

No freaking way... Let me guess what's for dinner. :)

KenMcGormick 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 9:53

Today, I just gotten from a pet shop to my new owner's house. They decided that I should be let flying around the house. They forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

Comments

v42136 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 16:59

there just 20 bucks get like a few and watch them fly in fans haha

sexiibitch013 0

Saturday 10 July 2010 7:12

OH MY GOSH!!!! IDIOT

lexxiii 17

Thursday 29 July 2010 19:32

This is just terrible. You should be ashamed of yourself. You SHOULD NOT be allowed to adopt any kind of pet. (I am an SPCA worker.)

ForeverPancakes 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 5:29

I agree with #79. #80, It doesn't matter how big they are. I bet you'll make a funny noise when they die too.

bwelch88 0

Friday 13 August 2010 0:35

ROFLMFAO

cupsie89 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 0:44

SadinSherman 16

Wednesday 27 October 2010 16:10

The bird is pretty stupid if it flew into a fan.

TheSacredRatty 18

Monday 5 November 2018 15:31

The bird was scared and trying to escape. If you were kidnapped and taken to an unfamiliar place, wouldn’t you try to escape too?

Squawk 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 5:11

The bird isn't stupid. A change of environment for a parakeet is very stressful. And to number 80 - you probably sound funny when you die, too. I'd love more than anything to find out. We're not hippies. We're just people who actually value lives. No reason you should - you haven't even had the opportunity to value your own. Who shoots birds for fun?

Computersrule 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 5:17

Well just fry the bird it would taste jus like chicken I am kidding now you have seen my screwed up sense of humor I have three birds myself I have had them all for almost two years not one of them has died ou my man are not the man birds wouldlike you let them die