Intimacy: Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/02/2010 11:11 - Norway

Spicy

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 826

You deserved it 43 238

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Same thing different taste

Make believe

By SN MetalMilitia - 03/11/2020 05:02

Spicy

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 364

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Spicy

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 555

You deserved it 10 546

By Hahaha - 29/01/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 720

You deserved it 40 287

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 12 374

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 950

You deserved it 6 817

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 399

You deserved it 33 875

You have mail!

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 04:01

Spicy

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 1 392

By CheeseyPotatoes - 11/04/2011 13:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 719

You deserved it 73 595

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 001

You deserved it 28 772

Next

Top comments

idkweird 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:10

Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.

succubusprime 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:12

YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.

Comments

rgetting 24

Tuesday 28 June 2016 6:10

As a law enforcement officer, I saw a lot of strange and wonderful people. Trust me, there is someone for you. Don't settle for someone you really are not happy with just to be in a relationship.

lucasj2345 7

Wednesday 20 September 2017 4:46

why would the cashier even give a ****?

jc1015 25

Sunday 11 October 2020 13:30

former cashier here and I can say myself and my former co-workers were 100% consumed with curiosity about our customers sex lives 🙄 please get over yourself here's the truth about cashiers both former and present we don't give a **** about you or what you're doing in your personal life we don't even care if you draw another breath after you leave our store.

Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University Divorce Awkward Love AITA Sex Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Motherhood Cute Pregnancy Kids Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food My ex Texting

The Top

Today, while we were at a museum I like, my wife told me she was “in the mood” so we quickly drove home, where she suddenly “wasn’t in the mood anymore.” I get the feeling she was bored with the museum, and lied to me to come home earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 236

Today, I was accused of faking tears and lying about my pop's death to get out of work. I was even demoted for being "a liar and untrustworthy." I went home to grieve after finding out he only has a few days left to live. That man raised me. I feel totally broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 60

The Top

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 225

You deserved it 49 624

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 931

You deserved it 3 037

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 295

You deserved it 8 051

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 867

You deserved it 59 695

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 744

You deserved it 2 790

Today, I misread a message that said they needed someone to volunteer for an event. Since the message was from my committee senior, I read the volunteer part and said yes. I missed the "and host it" part so now I have to give a speech in front of all the senior professors and the guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 608