Intimacy: Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/02/2010 11:11 - Norway

Spicy

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 831

You deserved it 43 250

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Make believe

By SN MetalMilitia - 03/11/2020 05:02

Spicy

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 372

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Spicy

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

By Hahaha - 29/01/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 723

You deserved it 40 290

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 293

You deserved it 12 381

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 988

You deserved it 6 825

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 407

You deserved it 33 876

You have mail!

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 04:01

Spicy

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 1 402

By CheeseyPotatoes - 11/04/2011 13:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 721

You deserved it 73 607

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 004

You deserved it 28 779

Next

Top comments

idkweird 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:10

Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.

succubusprime 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:12

YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.

Comments

rgetting 24

Tuesday 28 June 2016 6:10

As a law enforcement officer, I saw a lot of strange and wonderful people. Trust me, there is someone for you. Don't settle for someone you really are not happy with just to be in a relationship.

lucasj2345 7

Wednesday 20 September 2017 4:46

why would the cashier even give a ****?

jc1015 25

Sunday 11 October 2020 13:30

former cashier here and I can say myself and my former co-workers were 100% consumed with curiosity about our customers sex lives 🙄 please get over yourself here's the truth about cashiers both former and present we don't give a **** about you or what you're doing in your personal life we don't even care if you draw another breath after you leave our store.

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work You're fired Cars Kids Parenting Cats DIY Family Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 350

Today, I asked a stranger for directions and then drove in the opposite direction they'd pointed to, all because my ADHD brain did that thing where I couldn't pay attention past their first instruction, which to me sounded like, "Take the first left, then the second right, then fla flafla fla flaflafla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 317

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years, whom I just signed a year lease, broke up with me, exactly a week after my best friend's funeral in my last year of college. I can't afford to live in our apartment alone. I'm going to have to drop out and move in with my sister states away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 146

Today, I'm stuck in a dead-end job with no future but can't quit as I have bills to pay. My manager is the most incompetent person I've ever worked for, and he has hired a bunch of his friends who are incompetent as fuck. The CEO doesn't seem to care as he just focuses on business and money. no one cares, and mediocracy is rewarded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 131

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 033

You deserved it 4 944

Today, police questioned me on behalf of my doctor, who couldn’t believe one person could use so much insulin, so he thinks I’m selling it to bodybuilders. I really do use it all myself, I use about 6 times as much as my sister who is also diabetic, and my diet is normal. I only weigh 10.5 stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 117

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 632

You deserved it 4 871

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 459

You deserved it 5 206