Intimacy: Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the...

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By crazyt446 - 11/07/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 470

You deserved it 71 665

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Same thing different taste

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 732

You deserved it 78 329

By Lisa - 02/01/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 839

You deserved it 36 000

Listening in

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 536

You deserved it 17 459

You have the same voice!

By EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 526

You deserved it 24 098

Babe 3: Pig on the phone

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 16:00 - United States - Stephenville

Today, I accidentally called my Dad “Babe” on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 735

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 588

You deserved it 47 235

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 201

You deserved it 3 435

By Maxime - 20/11/2008 10:19 - France

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 932

You deserved it 9 851

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 510

You deserved it 44 125

By Em - 15/10/2009 06:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 340

You deserved it 3 635

Yeow 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 20:00

Oh dear, always check who you're calling before engaging in risky behavior!

Morokea 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 20:01

Ugh FYL. D: I would've pretended I was somebody else.

Comments

flyboy57 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 22:42

traumatizing for you both. don't be surprised if your dad locks you up forever!

captivemj 4

Saturday 11 July 2009 22:45

i guess u could have tried to act like ur someone else, but ur dad would have recognized ur voice!! sucks for u!! did he put u in trouble for it??

Cromwellsandwich 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:24

Bahahah, what did you say?!

fcukb0o 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:29

LMAO you're dads prolly like "Wtf...? =/"

p00p0ster0us 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:36

You deserved that doubly since you clearly read fmylife and should have known to verify that you were calling the right number.

nomnomsean 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:43

my friends has a dog named Lacey

howzit 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 0:04

#39, we are not in Austria :P jokes...

lovelykendra5 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 0:05

How many times has this been used on FML .

lovelykendra5 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 0:07

Heathersaur 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 0:29

You're an idiot.

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The Top

Today, I went to pick up my dog from a friend's place since she agreed to watch him while I went out of state for Spring Break. I arrived at her apartment. She’s gone and the apartment was vacated. She won’t answer her phone or texts, and vanished from all social media. I’m still making payments on the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 313

Today, after I'd ordered a cute dress online for an upcoming date, I tried it on, only to realise it was more of a glorified napkin than a dress. The tag online had said “One size fits all.” I now have a dress that fits my cat better than it fits me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 530

You deserved it 6 137

Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 799

You deserved it 607

Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 236

Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 608

You deserved it 8 835

Today, I dropped the collection basket during Christmas Mass at my Catholic church. Money and checks fell all over the floor and everyone was staring at me. I was too stunned to even pick it up. There were about 1,500 people from our town there and my family won't stop bringing it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 608

You deserved it 1 558

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 582

You deserved it 35 732