Miscellaneous: Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I...

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 574

You deserved it 4 354

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Same thing different taste

By Hunter cat - 02/11/2018 13:30

Today, when I got back to my bedroom, I found my cat had left not one, not two, but four dead lizards for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 343

You deserved it 384

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 063

You deserved it 5 345

Safe space

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 845

You deserved it 3 146

By Pip - 23/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 909

You deserved it 6 702

Mom know best

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 15:00

Today, I realized my mom was right. I should have listened to her and not gotten a pet alligator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 1 663

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 401

You deserved it 12 869

Nosaurus

By bibi - 19/03/2012 23:43 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 636

You deserved it 2 690

By SFra - 24/10/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 3 083

Weird reason

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:33 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 146

You deserved it 3 452

Get it!

By tay - 17/09/2013 15:44 - Canada - Erin

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 644

You deserved it 2 845

DooleyFTW 17

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:07

She obviously hasn't been exposing them to enough radioactive waste!

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:07

Yea, I found out the other day that I am infertile. I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human?? Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes? Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.

Comments

aj9090 9

Thursday 17 January 2013 2:19

Lol, really?

mark1970 10

Thursday 17 January 2013 3:28

I'd be worried too.

Thpwns 5

Thursday 17 January 2013 5:34

Aw go buy her a stuffed dinosaur

DinoNuggets911 3

Thursday 17 January 2013 8:55

She is obviously a MLIAer and you just don't understand her love of dinosaurs.

jojimugo 20

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:53

70 are you ok?

neonglostix 28

Thursday 17 January 2013 12:52

Let her know that lizards are like Magikarp. They can take quite a while to evolve and, once they do, she's gonna have to buy a bigger pokéball... I mean tank.